Milo Canopener (September 1, 2014)

An archive of the Milo Canopener.The University of Lethbridge Library received permission from the Archives at Milo Library to digitize and display this content.Milo Can Opener Canada Post Agmt. # 40607518 Box 12, Milo, AB T0L1L0 September 2014 Edition No. 292 FUN IN THE SUN AUG. 20 Children enjoyed the second Fun in the Sun Day. Held in Lions Park, these were sponsored by Milo Rec Board.The Milo Canopener A Community Newsletter published by Volunteer Staff Layout Editors: Production Subscriptions Notices Barb Godkin Colleen Bartsch Cameron Klem Betty Armstrong Darlene Phillips 403-485-8389 403-599-2204 403-485-1592 403-599-3791 Any Canopener volunteer vertising: (Single Insertion) Business Directory $ 5.00 Quarter Page $ 6.00 Half Page $ 8.00 Full Page $15.00 Classified Ads $ 2.00 Free Items: Event Notices Announcements: Wedding, Anniversary Births, Showers, etc. Cards of Thanks News Items Articles of Interest Subscription Rates: Single copy “Cover Price” $ 2.00 Inside Milo (pickup, delivery or mailed $16.00 Outside Milo mailed - Canada $24.00 Outside Milo mailed - U.S. $60.00 How to reach us: Email is our preferred method of contact if possible, as photo ready (JPEG) advertising copy can be printed clearly (rather than scanned). Fax transmissions are also low resolution, and tend to be un­clear. Thanks! Email: help@milolibrary.ca igodkin@wildroseinternet.ca Editorial Content: Letters to the Editor are welcome. All submissions must be signed. Letters will not be printed unless signed, and requests to re­main anonymous will not be honoured. Deadlines: The deadline for photo-ready (JPEG) ad copy or articles is about a week before the end of the month. Please allow adc - tional layout time for unformatted copy. The Canopener is usually printed the last 3 or 4 days of the month. Regular mail: Milo Canopener PO Box 12 Milo, Alberta T0L1L0 Fax: 403-599-2244 403-599-3850 (Milo Library) Drop off: Items may be left: • At Milo Green Foods in the Canopener Box at the back of the store, • At the desk in the Milo Library, or • In the Milo Library book Drop box.Goods & Services Sponsors We would like to thank our advertisers for their continued support. Without them, we would not be able to print this newsletter for the enjoyment of our readers. MILO CAFE Chinese & Western / Take out orders Open Tuesday - Sunday 9:00AM - 8:00PM (Closed Mondays) 599-3832 Box 7 Milo, AB T0L1L0 Doug Marks PRESIDENT Office; (403) 599-0003 Fax: (403) 599-3990 Mobile: (403) 485-8516 Marks Oilfield Services Inc. Trucking, Gravel Oilfield Maintenance and Construction Pipelining Services Inc. Ron Deitz Suite 700, One Executive Place 1816 Crowchild Trail NW Calgary, AB. T2M 3Y7 President Insurance & Estate Planning Phone: (403) 241-3122 Fax: (403)241-6155 Toll-Free: 1-800-661-2817 Email: deitzr@deitzfmancial.com 1-800-582-7054 “Make Your Winning Move With ’ MLS Magnuson Realty LYLE MAGNUSON LARRY DIETRICH Website: www.magnusonrealtv.com (jjm M) Phillips Agricultural Products and Services Box 292 Lomond, Alberta T0L 1G0 Telephone: (403) 792-3757 Robert Phillips Toll Free: 1-800-387-8486 Cellular: (403) 485-8233 Fax: (403) 792-3707 Involved in the community with pride Open Mon-Wed from 10:00am-3:00pm and Thurs-Fri from 10:00am-4:30pm 200 Center Street Box 150 Milo, AB T0L1L0 403-599-3792 %Scotiabank • Registered trademark of The Bank of Nova Scotia. Canopener Business Card Ads Only $60/year The perfect Top-Of-Mind advertising for your local customers! Includes your subscription. (See inside front cover for details)Goods & Services Sponsors We would like to thank our advertisers for their continued support. Without them, we would not be able to print this newsletter for the enjoyment of our readers. Septic Tank Services (A Division of J B. Services) * Portables • Sumps * Holding Tanks • Floods YA GOTTA GO" - SO PHONE JOE Bus: 485-2667 Fax: 485-4571 SEPTIC Box 93 Vulcan, Alberta TOL 2B0 *075673 AB LTD X rucking 0&*<**n and Hay Hauling ANDY DtXON Cdl: {403)485-8194 Res: (403) 599-2232 Fax: (403) 599-2443 Box 145 Mifo. Alberta TOL 1L0 MELO SEED CIjEANING xVSSOCIATTON LTD. 599-2150 Cleaner Seed is Sown. Cleaner Crops are Grown. Sheldon Walker Manager HEATHER TRUCKING WARREN HEATHER CATTLE HAY DECK WORK PHONE-403-599-2132 CELL-403-485-8200 RR#1 MILO, AB w heather® wildroseinternetxa KRYSTALOWICH & CO. Certified General Accountant Diane Krystalowich, C.G.A. 111 - 2nd Street South 403-485-2681 P.O. Box 239 403-485-2996 Vulcan, AB TOL2BO Fax: 403-485-6798 Katie Crump Phone: (403)734-2425 (403)901 -7402(cel!) Located I mile west of the Cluny tumoff. BLIND CREEK ANGUS Wayne and Peggy Robinson PO Box 36 MOSSLEIGH, ALBERTA TOL 1P0 PHONE (403) 934-4083FAIRBANKS DENTURE CLINIC 122 Centre Street, Vulcan, Alberta TOL 2B0 403-485-2368 Scott D. Fairbanks, 00 Trish Thompson X InOCpCNOCMT owsm ram Independent Consultant (403)599-0007 squish!977<®yahoo ca www trishthompson scentsy.ca •Hxmwmm eomwta#t MILO GREEN FOODS SUMMER BUSINESS HOURS June 1 to September 30 Monday 9 am - 6:30 pm Open(Lunch Time) Tuesday 9 am - 6:30 pm Open(Lunch Time) Wednesday 9 am - 6:30 pm Closed noon -1:00pm 1 (For Lunch) Thursday 9 am - 6:30 pm Open(Lunch Time) Friday 9 am - 6:30 pm Open(Lunch Time) Saturday 9 am - 6:30 pm Closed noon - 1:00pm ] (For Lunch) Sunday 10 am -5:30 pm Open(Lunch Time) Holidays 10 am -5:30 pm Open(Lunch Time) Goods & Services Sponsors We would like to thank our advertisers for their continued support. Without them, we would not be able to print this newsletter for the enjoyment of our Liscombe Chiropractic Clinic DR. GEORGE LISCOMBE NANTON VULCAN (403) 646-3111 (403) 485-6005 LORI VOOYS, cim®, fcsi.fma, pfp Director, Wealth Management Wealth Advisor The Stevenson Vooys Group Richardson GMP Limited 525 8th Avenue S.W., Suite 4700 Calgary, Alberta T2P1G1 Branch: 1 (866) 867-7735 Email: Lori.Vooys@RichardsonGMP.com www.StevensonVooys.com Dir.: (403) 355-6056 Fax: (403) 355-6109jMteacfowfarf? New rooms and services are available in our Strathmore Care Home! Senior Care Homes V, June 2014 Great news everyone! Meadowlark has received government approval to open two additional rooms in our Care Home - one single room and one double room. The Ideal resident is: • Medically stable, living with mild dementia, not a high risk for wandering • Able to physically move independently or with a one-person transfer • Experiencing increased care needs and should not be living alone What makes a Personal Care Home the Right Choice? Residents enjoy a high level of independence and choice, along with healthy home cooked meals, a relaxed schedule for activities and customized personal care in a small group setting of six (6) seniors. We are a non-institutional environment, but with key support and services. More news: • Meadowlark now has a Doctor that will be doing home visits • We also have a massage therapist that comes in weekly Proud to be serving the seniors & families of our communities for 14 years! Fully licensed & Inspected by Alberta Ministry of Seniors, Fire & Health Inspectors Services: • Resident Specific Care Plans • Assistance with Personal Care • Trained Support Staff on-site 24 Hrs. • Medication management • Home Care RN visits • Spiritual Care Coordination • Home cooked meals & snacks • Transportation to appointments • Visiting Podiatrist & Hairdresser Amenities: • Spacious Residential Home Setting • Walk-in & Handicapped Showers • Warm & inviting home decor • Wheelchair Friendly, including elevator • Cable & Wi-fi (except phone) • Individual & Group Outings • In-house pets • Socialization & Recreation • Large Deck & Accessible Yard Your parents want to stay in the place they call home. We can help! Experience a worry-free lifestyle & remove the burden of guilt... Call 403-934-5294 Proud to be a member of ASCHAR.Cv. CiovcUrK* It seems like for the past few years I have delved into the wonderful world of collective nouns, but this fall I thought I would strike out in a different direction. The clever world of puns. I enjoy reading a well constructed story, with all the puns intended. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate for funds, he went to Crosus, the pawn broker, to ask for a loan. "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it," says Crosus. "But I paid a million dinars for it!" the King protests. "Don't you know who I am? I am the KING!" Crosus shrugs his shoulders, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are." "Astonishing!" the truck driver said to the crew chief. "What was the white stuff you used to get all the pieces together?" The crew chief said, "Oh, that was tollqate booth paste." When the driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, he plowed into an empty toll booth and smashed it to pieces. He climbed down from the wreckage and within a matter of minutes, a truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. The men picked up each broken piece of the former tollbooth and spread some kind of creamy substance on it. Then they began fitting the pieces back together. In less than half an hour, they had the entire tollbooth reconstructed and looking good as new. As you read this, I'll be in Italy visiting with the Pope and touring the Eternal City. Perhaps I will get a chance to write about the sights I get to see in another column, if I haven't been fired for the pun stories. Laughter may be the best medicine, but attending church each Sunday and taking part in the Christian community is the best way to not get sick of life. Give God a treat. Go visit Him at His House! See you in Church! Church Services at Hope Church No service on September 14th Sept. 28th 9:00The “Winnipeg” Lord’s Prayer The “streetified” version below was written by a 15-year old Winnipeg student in response to the banning of the standard Lord’s Prayer in schools. Now I sit me down in school Where praying is against the rule For this great nation under God Finds mention of Him very odd. If scripture now the class recites, It violates the Bill of Rights. And anytime my head I bow Becomes a Federal matter now. Our hair can be purple, orange or green, That's no offense; it's a freedom scene. The law is specific, the law is precise. Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice. For praying in a public hall Might offend someone with no faith at all. In silence alone we must meditate, God's name is prohibited by the Provence... We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks, And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks... They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible. To quote the Good Book makes me liable. We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen, And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King. It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong, We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong. We can get our condoms and birth controls, Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles But the Ten Commandments are not allowed, No word of God must reach this crowd. It's scary here I must confess, When chaos reigns the school's a mess. So, Lord, this silent plea I make: Should I be shot; My soul please take! Amen Thoughts on Ageing A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office. Is it true/ she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?” "Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the lady replied. I’m wondering then, just how serious IS my condition? Because this prescription in marked ’NO REPEATS’.” An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery. He had insisted that his son (a renowned surgeon) perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. “Yes, Dad,” his son said. “What is it?” “A little fatherly advice son. Don’t be nervous, and do your best. Just remember if it doesn't go well—if something happens to me—your mother is going to come and live with you and you wife. So no pressure." Eventually you will reach the point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting for. Some people try to “turn back their odometers” when asked about their age. Not me! I want people to know wjiy I look this way. You see, I’ve travelled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved. When you are thinking of trying to turn back time and going back to your youth—think of Algebra. You can be sure you are getting old when everything in your life has either dried up—or leaks. Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention.” The young guy replies “That’s OK. Coincidentally, I’m looking for my wife too. I can’t find her, and I’m getting a little desperate here." The old guy looks concerned, and says “Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?” Still gazing around, the young guy says “She’s 27 years old, tall with strawberry blonde hair down to her shoulders. She’s quite curvy, wearing a white tube top and really short black shorts. She’s got long legs, and an ankle bracelet on her right ankle. What does your wife look like?” The old guy sighs, and replies “It doesn’t matter at his point. Let’s just look for yours.”Canopener Breaking News! Puzzle from Hell finally completed by local Master Arranger. was started (rumours put the date sometime in the 1970's) but local enthusiast Larry Umscheid has demonstrated tenacity, perseverance, and occasionally not having anything better to do, and finished that sucker!. MILO LIONS CLUB NEWS Short & Sweet For those of us who cherish the power of words, this comparison of the word count in these documents that affect our lives may be proof that the end of the world is near: • Pythagoras’ Theorum...........................................24 words • Lord’s Prayer....................................................................66 words • Archimedes’ Principle...........................................67 words • Ten Commandments..........................................179 words • Gettysburg Address.......................................................286 words • US Declaration of Independence....................1,300 words • US Constitution with all 27 Amendments........7,818 words • EU regulations on the sale of Cabbages......26,911 words Get well wishes are extended to Lion Ted Lee. Welcome to our new member, Lion Dick Berglof. ACTIVITIES: Annual BBQ August 10 Over 300 joined us for this year’s barbecue. Thanks to ail members working at this event. DONATIONS: • $500 to the Giesbrecht family to help them out after their car accident. Bumper Crop! When first I had a garden and I planted a zucchini, The seedsman said that it would grow, of that they’d guaranteed me. So, since I had a lot of room, I planted six or seven; In hopes that I world shortly be in high zucchini heaven. You should have seen the way they grew - So strong they were and healthy. If summer squash were in high demand, they would have made me wealthy! We ate zucchini many ways... for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But even so it always seemed our harvest grew no thinner. Zucchini bread, zucchini cake - at first the prospect tickled. We ate them fried, we ate them stuffed, we even ate them pickled! We sliced them, we pureed them, we ate them raw in salads. I lived with them so much I even wrote zucchini ballads! We gave them to our neighbours. Our supply it seemed was endless But then our neighbours all rebelled, we feared we’d soon be friendless! Zucchini sticks for snacking and zucchini wrapped in pie crust... Until at last I drew the line - Zucchini flakes for breakfast?! So now I’ve learned my lesson. From frustration it will free me. You’ll never ever find me planting more than one zucchini!! (Originally printed in “The Country Register of Alberta” July/August edition 2014) CALENDAR September, 2014 September 3 - Meeting 7:00 p.m. September 17 - Supper Meeting 7:00 p.m.VILLAGE OF ALBERTA August 29, 2014 Dear Residents & Ratepayers, In Arrowwood, Mayor Crane, Councillor Grenier and myself had a positive and forward looking meeting with Sgt. Raimo Loo of the Vulcan Detachment and S/Sgt. James McLaren of the Gleichen Detachment. Since the bridge was washed out last year, policing for Arrowwood has been shared by Vulcan and Gleichen. Under normal circumstances, Arrowwood is policed from Gleichen, which is normally 15 minutes drive away. Regardless, the officers were able to offer practical solutions to some of the challenges in Arrowwood regarding ATV traffic and vandalism, and have committed to assist the community in working through these issues. In Milo, the Village Council is seeking public input into the new parking stalls and handicap parking spaces. Please provide input, in writing, to the Village councilors or the Village Office by September 19th, 2014, in advance of the next regular meeting. The intention of these stalls is to encourage patrons of local businesses and facilities to consider the mobility of those who need to park closer. However, the Village Council has expressed its desire to establish this designation as being for reasons of courtesy, not enforceability. Again, public input on the matter is sought. Both Village Councils have expressed their willingness to collaborate with Vulcan County on the Vulcan Centre of Excellence for Inter-professional Health Care Training. The goal of this project is to establish in Vulcan a healthcare training facility that brings together a team of health care students to develop necessary skill sets It is an innovative opportunity for the hospital in Vulcan to enhance the quality of care available for local residents. Village of Ji **90woqd ALBERTA Readers of the Vulcan Advocate will have noticed the controversy between Vulcan County and the Village of Milo over Crystal Blue Developments’ project on the west side of McGregor Lake Reservoir. Given the scale of the development, and with the Village of Milo being the only urban municipality on the north end of the reservoir, certain guarantees from Vulcan County are required to safeguard Milo’s viability. Below is a letter to the editor from Mayor Zea published in the Vulcan Advocate on August 27th. The letter is a response to the deputy reeve of Vulcan County’s letter published one week earlier. Please remember to submit applications for funding to the Milo and District Recreation Board (c/o the Milo Village Office) and the Northwest Recreation Board (c/o the Arrowwood Village Office) by September 15th. The recreation boards will be reviewing applications and finalizing their budgets for submission to Vulcan Countv bv October. 3 Sincerely, Christopher Northcott Chief Administrative OfficerAs published in the Vulcan Advocate, August 27th, 2014, pp. 4-5: Provincial and municipal governments recognize the importance of building upon regional cooperation to overcome the vast challenges facing communities. The Village of Milo recognizes the need for regional partnerships that promote viability in the region. The Village was presented with the opportunity to service Crystal Blue Harbour with water and wastewater (sewage) services. Establishing the right governance structure for these arrangements required consultation with Municipal Affairs but primarily the Village’s legal counsel, its engineer and planner, as recommended by Municipal Affairs. The Village’s legal counsel is Shantz Law Office in Brooks. They assisted the City of Brooks and County of Newell in establishing a successful intermunicipal agreement to provide wastewater services for Lake Newell Resort. The Village Council concluded that, due to the scale of the development and its location outside of Milo’s jurisdiction, the project required anticipating potential liabilities beyond our present financial capacity as well as indemnify for future development potential as an urban municipality. The mere collection of a security bond will not suffice against, say, potential civil litigation if the development ever were to default on its responsibilities or, say, the development authority (Vulcan County) ever changes the area structure plan and zoning for an area serviced by Milo. To mitigate its liabilities, the Village of Milo proposed intermunicipal agreement with Vulcan County whereby water and wastewater services would be provided into their jurisdiction. Vulcan County would then make water and wastewater agreements, theoretically, for any development, public or private, including Crystal Blue Harbour. Much effort has been made, as well as supporting documentation provided, to advance this policy position with Vulcan County. The Deputy Reeve’s letter to the editor of this past week is the first written correspondence, of any depth, outlining Vulcan County’s response to this position. Last October, immediately prior to the municipal election, a brief letter was received from Vulcan County’s then Reeve describing the County as a “third party" to a development over which they have jurisdiction. While it referred to “real and tangible alternatives,” no explanation or supporting documentation was provided. These alternatives were never identified or communicated to the Village in writing, let alone advanced as a reasonable policy position. Following an in camera meeting with Crystal Blue Developments, Vulcan County insisted that its developer be present at any meeting with the Village of Milo. We were never so much as invited to a regular meeting of County Council to explain our position. Even then, the Village Council was willing to compromise and invited the County and its developer to a meeting where the developer would get twenty minutes