Tatyana Dzhambinova, About Traditional Bans

Tatyana talks about traditional bans: Traditional bans are about putting rigid sanctions on people’s wrong or asocial behavior. My mother used to tell us never to swear or curse people because it may return to those who uttered the bad words. The idea being that negative words reach their target but may also bounce back. People should be educated in this regard, and especially women should never utter filthy words. My mother warned us against standing on heels. Now I understand that standing on heels is bad for one’s health. It is also forbidden for young people to hold their hands behind their back because it is only old men who do so. Also, it is the old people who should greet first. I remember whenever my paternal uncle came to us, my mother would put on her headscarf and socks so as not to show him her hair or toes. A similar ban exists among people in the Caucasus. Traditionally, Kalmyk married women had two braids, whereas single women had only one. My grandmother lived with us. When we were naughty, she would scare us, ‘If you don’t behave yourselves, your mother will die’. We quickly learnt what we can and cannot do. Although saying such things was quite extreme, people did not shout at or beat their children, they just disciplined verbally. My mother used to say that evening is a time when evil spirits fly around. Since such spirits are believed to be keen on hanging on to the lower part of a woman’s dress, woman should either abstain from going out in the evening or, if they have to go out, then they should shake their dress properly before entering a house. Another place that evil spirits like to hide is people’s hair. My mother also used to warn us not to ask people for salt or sugar. It is also forbidden to show or expose a newborn baby to strangers for a long time. In the past, when infant mortality was high, people neither received guests nor went out to see others until their babies grew up a little bit. People tried to protect their babies in this way. I also remember how my grandmother used to light incenses (juniper). Its smell reminds me of my childhood. Traditionally, the Kalmyks did not give their children beautiful names, because they were afraid (that evil spirits may attack children with attractive names). Many people in the past had unattractive names. The worse the name, the better for the child. People also did not praise their children. Children should be brought up modestly. My mother always told me not to scold other people’s children, and to instill good behavior in my own children.Sponsored by Arcadia Fund, a charitable fund of Lisbet Rausing and Peter Baldwi