Tatyana Dzhambinova, About the Traditional Kalmyk Family

Tatyana talks about her understanding of a proper Kalmyk family: My grandmother taught me a lot of things, including my family’s genealogy. My ancestors were enterprising people, Cossacks, who served in the Russian army in the First World War. I know my genealogy 12 generations back. On my paternal side, we had Cherkess women, that is where a crook on our noses comes from. In our family we are 4 children. Our mother brought us up correctly, and now she enjoys the fruits of this upbringing. We all support and love our mother. Many ask my mother about how she raised us. She replies: ‘We lived, worked quietly by ourselves, and harmed nobody’. It is the mother’s responsibility to bring up her children. The father is the symbol of his family, no matter how much or less he earns. Today people do not understand this anymore. I, as a wife, know my place in my family, and I don’t ask my husband unnecessary questions. In fact, girls need to be taught how to behave properly and make their husbands feel like they are the head of the family. In this sense, I belong to a traditional Kalmyk family. There is a tendency to tighten the rules of divorce, which I support because this may save families going through this. Today, families headed by single parents is a serious problem. When women earn more than men, this changes the dynamic in the family. Excessive freedom that women enjoy has turned their heads. I do not call for a return to cruelty or patriarchy though. I am just saying that in a modern democratic environment, families should be based on a peaceful foundation where every member of the family knows his/her place. Women should defend the good name of their husbands’ clan and show respect to his relatives. Today, many families live separately from their grandparents, which I disapprove of because we lose connection between generations.Sponsored by Arcadia Fund, a charitable fund of Lisbet Rausing and Peter Baldwi