Milo Canopener (August 1, 2020)

An archive of the Milo Canopener.The University of Lethbridge Library received permission from the Archives at Milo Library to digitize and display this content.Milo Can Opener Box 12, Milo, AB T0L1L0 Canada Post Agmt. # 40607518 August 2020 * Edition No. 361 MILO LIBRARY N/C The Milo Can Opener THE TREE Photo by Roxane Schalin This tree speaks to me every time I drive by it. I finally just had to stop and have a closer look and snap a pic. It’s out at the old farm we rent out east. Some people might think it’s ugly but I love its crooked character. I’m sure there is a story behind the way it has grown. The Milo Can Opener A Community Newsletter published by Volunteers Layout Editors: Subscriptions Notices Cameron Klem Barb Godkin Barb Godkin Can be left at Milo Library Any Can Opener volunteer 403-485-1592 403-485-8389 403-485-8389 Is your Can Opener subscription due? Check the end date on your label on the front cover. We would appreciate it if we didn't always have to invoice for subscriptions to save time and money. We will normally invoice business ads. Thanks so much. Can Opener volunteers. Advertising: Subscription Rates: Single Annual Insertion With Subscription Business Directory $ 5.00 $ 60.00 (12 x $6) Quarter Page $ 8.00 $ 72.00 (12 X $6) Half Page $12.00 $ 96.00 (12 x $8) Full Page $ 20.00 $180.00 (12x$15) Classified Ads $ 2.00 Free Items: Some Event Notices (those put on by community non-profits and are not fund-raisers) Announcements: Wedding, Anniversary Births, Showers, etc. Cards of Thanks News Items Articles of Interest Editorial Content: Letters to the Editor are welcome. All submissions must be signed. Letters will not be printed unless signed, and requests to re­main anonymous will not be honoured. Deadlines: The deadline for photo-ready (JPEG) ad copy or articles is about 5 days before the end of a month. Please allow additional layout time for unformatted copy. Single copy “Cover Price” $ 2.00 (copies available at Milo Library) Inside Milo (pickup, delivery or mailed) $20.00 Outside Milo mailed - Canada $25.00 Outside Milo mailed - U.S. $65.00 T0L1L0 How to reach us: Email is our preferred method of contact if possible, as photo ready (JPEG) advertising copy can be printed clearly (rather than scanned). Fax transmissions are also low resolution, and tend to be unclear. Thanks! Email: Information and submissions help@milolibrary.ca Barb Godkin ibgodkin@gmail.com Cameron Klem camsterphil@gmail.com (Please use CAN OPENER in your email header.) Regular mail: Milo Can Opener PO Box 12 Milo, Alberta T0L1L0 Fax: 403-599-2224 403-599-3924 (Milo Library) Drop off: Items may be left: • at Milo Green Foods in the Can Opener Box at the back of the store. • at the desk in the Milo Library, or in the library book drop box. Milo Can Opener Goods & Services Sponsors Please support our local businesses - without their support of The Can Opener, we would not be able to publish for you! Milo Green Foods Folk Automotive A Tire Serving Milo, and Surrounding Area Tires. Repairs, and Vehicle Ar cessr ries Tom, Ellie & Luna Phone: (403)599-3922 Winter Business Hours Oct 1 to Apr 30 (open thru lunch): Mon-Sat: 9 AM - 5:30 PM Fax:(403) 599-3835 Holidays: 10 AM - 4:30 PM Rob Taylor House maintenance service Handy man 587-678-4816 Interior: • Window cleaning • Plumbing • Electrical • Painting • Senior living modifications Exterior: • Window cleaning • Gutter cleaning • Pressure washing • Deck and fence repairs • Site cleanup Invisible Fence THE ORIGINAL CONTAINMENT SPECIALISTS Greg Deitz Top Dog 403-262-pets (7387) 1-877-364-2929 Fax: 403-250-8177 Invisible Fence of Western Canada 8A - 3529 12th Street NE Calgary. Alberta T2E 6P4 Email: topdog@ifence.ca Web Site: www.invisiblefence.com Government Inspector call Dean @ 403 862 0032 Competitive Prices id Fast Service F CJ R G Canada's Forage Seed Innovator Chad Monner Authorized Dealer P.O. Box 63 Milo AB TOL 1L0 403-485-5980 chadmonner@hotmail.com www.unionforage.com Justin Cooper (403) 397-9128 paintingbyjm@gmail.com ("J Painting by J&M © Painting by J and M BLIND CREEK ANGUS Hobart Holdings Waste Management *"* Wayne and Peggy Robinson PO Box 36 MOSSLEIGH, ALBERTA T0L1P0 PHONE (403)934-4083 403 485 0227 Josh Oberhotaer hobartholdings@gmail.com Qkuvck ^WA’.arrowwoodgospelchurch.ca Every Sunday! Contemporary worship service 11:00am - 12:15pm Septic Tank Services (A Division of J.B. Services) Portables - Sumps - Holding Tanks - Floods “Ya gotta go, so phone Joe” Business: (403) 485-2667 Cell: (403) 485-3552 PO Box 93, Vulcan Alberta TOL 2B0 30+ Years Experience Alberta Licenced Technician UNION Painting by JMLtd. Milo Can Opener Goods & Services Sponsors Please support our local businesses - without their support of The Can Opener, we would not be able to publish for you! HEATHER TRUCKING WARREN HEATHER CATTLE HAY DECK WORK GRAVEL HACLING PHONE-403-599-2132 CELI.-IO 3-485-8200 BOX 178 MILO, AB TOI 11.0 Trucking - Grain & Hay Hauling Iron & Steel Salvage iTiegen Trucking Grain & Fertilizer Hauling Andy Dixon Cell: (403) 485-8194 Res: (403) 599-2232 Fax: (403) 599-2443 Box 145 Milo, AB TOL 1L0 BOX 7 Milo, AB TOL 1L0 Office. (403) 599-0003 Fax: (403) 599-3990 Mobile: (403) 435-8516 Dereck Tiegen Cell: 403-485-8715 PO Box 53 - Milo, AB - TOL 1L0 Doug Marks PRESIDENT Marks , Oilfield Services Inc. Trucking. Gravel Oilfield Maintenance and Construction Pipelining Norm Stokes Welding The Elevator Box 113 Milo, AB TOL 1L0 Work. 403-599-3826 Ceil: 403-485-8366 Fax: 403-599-3827 miloelevator@gmail.com General & Oilfield Repair New & Used Steel Sales Custom Built Trailers 0 B-Pressure Welding Lloyd Deitz Alternative Grain Marketing Solutions Container and Trqnsloading Facility Norm- Phone Cell Craig- Phone Cell Wade- Cell 403-792-2255 403-485-0365 403-792-3314 403-485-0288 485-1119 MILO SEED CLEANING ASSOCIATION LTD. 599-2150 Cleaner Seed is Sown. Cleaner Crops are Grown. Sheldon Walker Manager ZODIAC TRUCKING LTD. Rod Lahd 403-485-0625 i. * RR1 Milo. AB TOL 1L0 zodiactrucking@xplomet.com Scott Schroeder Mobile Mechanic S S SGRVICGS Heavy & Light Duty Mechanic / Oil Field Maintenance scottschroeder@hotmail.com Cell (403) 485-9607 Box 163 Milo AB TOL 1L0 Milo Can Opener Goods & Services Sponsors Please support our local businesses - without their support of The Can Opener, we would not be able to publish for you! TH E COTTAGE Chinese & Western / Take out orders Chris & Amanda Gauthier Phone 403.485.8461 Box 22, Milo AB, TOL 1L0 Email: prairieperfection@outlook.com Find us on Facebook - Prairie Perfection Catering Open Tuesday - Sunday 9:00AM - 8:00PM Closed Mondays (403) 599-3832 Leslie Lahd Consultant 403-485-1508 EPICURE GOOD FOOD. REAL FAST. lcslicstbodadveruurc@grtiail.com Facebook; ixsiic’s Adventures in Cooking https://Icsliclahd.cptcurc.ci »ni / ci i 11011 • MEALS IN MINUTES. Weekly Meal Delivery Service Catering Large & Small Events Orlena 587 678 5448 Email: mealsinminutesvc@gmail.com Facebook.com mealsinminutesvc Trish Thompson Independent Stylist STELLA 6/DOT ■ Squish 1977@yahoo.ca 403-485-8547 www.stelladot.com/trishthompson Silver Icing 0 Comfortable and Chic Clothing and Accessories Brooke Sabourin 403-809-8545 silvericing.com/bsabourin THE COUNTRY FARMHOUSE Gifts, Antiques and Collectibles With A Taste of Rural Alberta Will open for meals July 2. By reservation only please to plan seating. Open Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays 11:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m GIVE YOUR HAIR WHAT IT NEEDS!! Box 10 Cluny, AB TOJ OSO Hairstylists are open for appointments. from Cluny Hilltop 3 miles west Dianne Brown Ph. 403-734-2593 % mile north Fax 403-734-2882 Hair Salon Stylists at Country Farmhouse: Hairstylist Kaitlyn Sauve 403-901-4418 kaitlynsauvehair@gmail.com The Hair Market Katie Crump 403-901-7402 Discover Visibly Longer. Stronger, Healthier, Younger-Look ing Hair IN MJSI 90 OAY3 WITH MONAT (•n/o. Colors. Deniie Bfown | HoHstylHt/Owner Cluny, AB ] 403-5614129 ^^^Per/ecZ/b/2 C AT E RIN GJ S E R VIC E Milo Can Opener Goods & Services Sponsors Please support our local businesses - without their support of The Can Opener, we would not be able to publish for you! .URl Technology * J (Consulting Ryyan & Jennifer (Bartsch) Maki Cel1:403*850-4424 Einaikriteclinolog) consul ting@gmail.com ‘Hase >ou tried turning it off and on again?” All-Inclusive Bookkeeping Anylu Barcenas, CMACPA 403-809-9244 info@allinclusivebookkeepin9.com Luuuiu.allinclusivebookkeeping.com Deitz Wealth Management Suite JOG IS 16 CtOMbild Trad NW Calgary. Alberta T2M 3Y7 phone 403-241-3122 toll-free 800-661-281? Darren Deitz Certified Financial Planner dauenK?deiUwealth.com Lakeview Grant Turner. Financial Security Advisor 403-512-1217 Arrowwood Pharmacy Basil Akalonu Pharmacist Prompt Prescription Filling Branded Drugs available Free Medication Delivery Easy Prescription Transfer Free Seasonal Flu Shots & Immunization Blister Packs Medication Review & Health Promotion Phone: 403 534-3333 Text: 403 803-3457 Now Open Hours: Monday- Friday 9:00 am - 6:00 pm Saturday 9:00 am - 2:00 pm Insurance oncl investments grant@Lakeview-ins-inv.ca Insurance | Investments | Succession PI an n i n g dejo view experience eyecare differently Vulcan Nanton 118 Centre St. 2219 - 20 St. (403)485-2177 (403) 646-3200 Dr. Glenn Garlock VULCANDENFAL? Dr. Michael McKee DMD Clinic Hours: < MONDAY (reception only) 9 a.m.—12 noon TUESDAY and WEDNESDAY 8:30 A.M.—3:30 P.M. Liscombe Chiropractic Clinic DR. GEORGE LISCOMBE NANTON VULCAN (403) 646-3 111 (403) 485-6005 NEW LOCATION 95 Centre Str. East, Vulcan (next to Furniture Villa) Ph 603-685-2654 Services include exams dental cleanings crowns/tridges root canals, extractions fillings teeth whitening Implants an! more www.vulcandentalclinic.com Follow us on Facebook and IG; Vulcan Dental Clinic KRYSTALOWICH & CO. CERTIFIED GENERAL ACCOUNTANT Diane Krystalowich C.G.A. 111 - 2nd Street South 403-485-2681 P.O. Box 239 403-485-2996 Vulcan, AB TOL 2B0 Fax: 403-485-6798 Milo Can Opener Goods & Services Sponsors Please support our local businesses - without their support of The Can Opener, we would not be able to publish for you! VILLAGE OF MILO ALBERTA 200 Centre Street, Box 65, Milo AB, TOL 1L0 Phone:(403)599-3883 OFFICE HOURS Tuesday 10:00 AM - 2:00 PM Wednesday 10:00 AM - 4:00 PM Thursday 10:00 AM - 2:00 PM Or by Appointment POST OFFICE HOURS Monday - Friday 10:00 AM - 2:00 PM NOTE: Parcel pickup is available at the Village Office Wednesday until 4:00 PM COUNCIL MEETINGS Held at the Village Office, on 2nd Tuesday of each month at 7:00 PM "2020 can't get any worse" August: Martin Shields, MP Bow River Constituency 129-2nd Ave, Box 2070 Strathmore, AB T1P 1K1 Phone 403-361-2980 www.martinshieldsbowriver.ca Martin.shields.c1 b@parl.gc.ca New Siracha Hand Sanitizer not only will it kill germs but it will stop you touching your eyes, face and other places a second time Milo Waste Transfer Station Hours of Operation Tuesdays T.00 PM - 4:00 PM Thursdays 9:00 AM - noon Saturdays 9:00 AM - noon Canopener Business Card Ads Only $60/year The perfect Top-Of-Mind advertising for your local customers! Includes your subscription. (See inside front cover for details) The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out. Phillips Seed Our building construction on Railway Ave in Milo is almost complete’! Pioneer Hybrid Seeds Varieties available include: Canola (Roundup Ready, Liberty Link, Clearfield) Alfalfa (Grazing and Silage), Soybeans, Corn PIONEER For more information or to place orders, contact: Robert Phillips 403-485-8233 Justin Thompson 403-485-8125 My thoughts... Rev. Gordon Cranch There are 2,500 varieties of apples grown in North America. There are over 7,000 varieties of apples grown world wide. I am really only fond of 2 or 3 varieties. But then how many of the 7,000 varieties have I tried? So I guess I really have a very narrow view of apples. There are 2.2 billion Christians in the world (over one third of the world's population). That's a fairly large group of people. And, like with the apples, I have only experienced a few of the many denominations that make up the Christian world. And even at that, I probably have only experienced a very few forms of services in other denominations. This was with varying degrees of appreciation from 'get me out of here now' to 'I never want to leave this heavenly place'. Yet the wonderful thing is that Sunday by Sunday we join with the other 2.2 billion people around the world, worshiping Christ in many ways, in many forms, but joined together as Christians, "all members of the body, though many, are one body". The Church is made up of people, an infinite number of people, each with their own version of worship. And that is OK. It is too bad that all the world is not Anglican (or Lutheran) but God has it all in hand. It is tough to see the variety of denominations that exist, but exist they do. And like with apples, I may have 3 or 4 favourites but it is the same Lord that is being served and worshipped. We may all be different but we do all serve the same God. August Services: Aug 9th- 9:00 am Aug 23rd - 9:00 am see cwu tut CTiixrC'h! Viral thoughts Please remember that the current era is crap enough without having to feel guilt that we aren’t learning another language and painting watercolors of daffodils. If you brushed your teeth today and got showered and ate something and spent ten minutes not looking at the news, then well done - it's an achievement. We’re going to be so bored by the end of this that everybody will know how to fold a fitted sheet. You are not stuck at home. You are safe at home. This is stupid! I just tried to make hand sanitizer and it came out as rum and coke. I wish coronavirus could’ve started in Las Vegas because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Bank teller arrested for attempting to carry money home...claiming he was going to work from home. Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom. Commercials in 2030 will be like: Were you or someone you know overly exposed to hand sanitizer, Lysol, or bleach during the 2020 coronavirus pandemic? If so you may be eligible for compensation... Until further notice the days of the week are now called Thisday, Thatday, Otherday, Someday, Yesterday, Today and Nextday. I’ve been thinking about Osama Bin Laden. He was stuck in his house with three wives for five years. I'm beginning to wonder if he called in those Navy Seals himself? Grocery store clerk to customer: “Wanna hear a joke?” Customer “Sure.” Clerk: “Did you find everything you need?” Unemployment Application Job Title: Burglar...Reason for lay-off: everyone is home. Day 8 of homeschool...Lucas called me from his room to tell me he missed the bus. The drop in gas prices during the “stay at home” order is like a bald man winning a hairbrush! If you would like to know how it feels to be in the hospitality business during the pandemic, remember when the Titanic was sinking, and the band continued to play? Well, we're the band. The most unused household item during Quarantine 2020? Bras. Social Distancing: I looked into her eyes, deep into the emerald green, and my heart fluttered. I felt a connection, something deeper, and magical. I was transported to another place, and thought “Holy crap, these binoculars are amazing!” Finally, remember that our Grandparents were called to war. We’re being asked to wear a mask and stop hoarding toilet paper. Told my wife i wanted to be cremated. She ImlldaUdet?* lmilta; aanll appointment for Tuesday. My doctor said now that I'm older I need to install a bar tn the shower It’s been a bit of a ■ w O Mvwll <WI Will VI JMI strange day! First I found a hat full of money. Then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar.** FCSS community Event Bike Scavenger Hunt vulcan region g ^E^Q^S^BBQ Teams will be staggered to maintain social distance Snacks will be provided Free of charge YOUTH CENTRE COMMUNITY EVENTS SENIOR SUPPORT HOME SUPPORT PROGRAM VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES Vulcan & Region FCSS Times are tough, and now more than ever, Albertans need their money to work for them. Albertans also need a financial partner who can get things done - and that’s us. Our full range of services is available in branches and by distance - give us a call, and we’ll make the rest easy. ATB Financial The Milo Agency remains open for essential banking only please. Open 10:00 - 3:00 Monday - Thursday, 10:00 - 3:30 Friday 121 Centre St., Milo, TOL 1L0 403-599-3981 MILO LIONS CLUB NEWS jyjn1*'pi Ida h ^tiTnyfiU^i^Ti iW g-WrlM 1 >*n i! uE«W^>!uiI*Iuil Donations -$200 to Yoga Class -$1000 to Vulcan Food Bank (to replace donation of items and cash normal­ly done for our July 1 Pancake Breakfast) Activities Our Milo Community Camp Out July 3rd to July 5th at Enchant Municipal Park had 24 camping units take part. No breakfasts this year, but everyone had a good time, play­ing baseball and enjoying swim­ming. August would be the time we nor­mally would have our Annual Bar­becue and Show 'N Shine. It has been cancelled for 2020 because of gathering size limitations. We are contemplating starting supper meetings September 16. Maintenance work at Lions Park and both cemeteries continues. At Lions Park, we are remov­ing and trimming quite a number of the old poplars as they have become rotten and unstable. Thank you to Chett Deitz for driving the unreliable old truck to remove wood chips. Terry Fox Virtual Run Sunday, September 20,2020 This September marks the 40th anniversary of the National Terry Fox Run and they have chosen to have it a virtual run for 2020. There will be more information on our Milo Run in August. If you would like to purchase a t-shirt, they can be ordered on-line at www.terryfox.org. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions. Joanne Monner Me: (sobbing my heart out. eyes swollen, nose red)...l can't see you anymore... I am not going to let you hurt me like this again! Trainer: It was a sit up. You did one sit up. -Ji You might be old when... Your friend compliments you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.. A sexy babe or hunk catch­es your fancy and your pacemaker opens the gar­age door. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fiber today. 'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot. An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bath­room. Signs You’re Getting Old www.adriennehedger.com You pull a muscle putting on a sock. Phone calls after 9:00 p.m. upset you. You know you're getting Old when you feel bad in the morning., without having any fun the night before! Instead of sharing pictures of babies, you and your friends share cute pictures of pets. You can't read the directions on your anti-aging face cream. and Ts Saloon The Milo Hotel The Milo Hotel Bar is open! Covid cleaning and protection protocols are in place. We handle off sales of beer and liquor. One VLT machine is now operating. Room rentals are not available at this time. Wing Night Every Wednesday 6:00 - 9:00 p.m. For takeout, cost is $10/dozen to cover packaging Retirement poses many questions... How many days in a week? Six Saturdays, and one Sunday. When is a retiree's bedtime? Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it might take all day. What’s the biggest gripe of retirees? There isn’t enough time to get everything done. Why don’t retirees mind being called Seniors? The term Seniors is usually accompanied by a discount. Among retirees, what is considered formal attire? Tied shoes. Why do retirees count pennies? They’re the only one who have the time. What is common term among retirees for someone who enjoys their career, and refuses to retire? Nuts. Why are retirees so reluctant to clean out their basement, garage, or attic? They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store their stuff there. What do retirees call a long lunch? Normal. What is the best way to describe retirement? The never ending coffee break. What’s the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? If you skip a class, no one calls your parents. What do you do all week? Well, Monday through Friday, not much. Then Saturday and Sunday, I rest. Why does a retiree often say he doesn’t miss work, but misses the people with whom he used to work? The retiree is too polite to tell the whole truth. Just before the funeral services, the funeral director came up to the elderly widow, and asked “How old was your husband?” The widow smiled, and replied “He was 92, two years younger than me." “So you’re 94!” the funeral director commented. Again, the widow smiled. “Hardly worth going home, is it?” Reporters interviewing a 102 year old woman asked what she though was the best thing about her life now. The woman simply replied “No peer pressure. ” One overlooked advantage of senility is - the ability to hide your own Easter eggs. An elderly woman was with her lawyer, preparing her will, and told the lawyer that she had two last requests: first, to be cremated, and second, to have the ashes scattered in the parking lot at Costco. “Costco?" asked the lawyer. “In the parking lot? May I ask why?' “Of course," said the woman. “Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me about twice a month!' These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart has a label that starts with “For Fast Relief of...”. Thank you for teaching me the definition of "plethora". It means a lot to me. I can'