Letter from John Muir to Jeanne C. Carr, 1867 Apr 6

[4]I believe with you that nothing is without meaning & purpose that comes from a Fathers hand . but during these dark weeks I could not feel this and as for courage & fortitude scarce the shadows of these virtues were left me, the shock upon my nervous system made me weak in mind as a child but enough of woe When I can walk to where fruited specimens of climacum are I will send you many as you wish - I must close I thank you all again for your kindness I cannot make sentences that will tell how much I feel in- debted to you Please remember me to all my friends. You will write soon. I can read my letters now. Please send them to care of Osgood & Smith Cordially J Muir00403[1] [1867] Sunday Apr 6th Mrs Carr Dear friend Your previous letter of the 15th reached me last night - by accident it was nearly lost I cannot tell you Mrs Carr how much I appreciate your sympathy and all of these kind thoughts of [illegible] & [illegible] consolation which you have stored for me in this letter I am much better than when I write you - can now sit up about all day & in a room partly lighted Your Doctor says the [illegible] humor may be restored. - How by nature or by art The position of my wound will be seen in this figure [figure of an eye pinpointing wound area] The eye is pierced just where the cornea meets the [illegible] coating I do not know the depth [2]of the wound or its exact direction sight was completely gone from the injured eye for the first few days & my physician said it would be ever gone but I was surprised to find that on the fourth or fifth day I could see a little with it sight con- tinued to increase for a few days but for the last three weeks it has not percep[illegible] increased or diminished I called in a Dr Parvin lately, said to be a very skillful [illegible]list & of large experience both here and in Europe He said that he thought the iris permanently injured - that the crystatine lens was not injured. That of course my two eyes would not work to- gether and that on the whole my chances of distinct vision were not good. But the bare possibility of anything like full sight is now my [illegible]staining hope, When the wound was made, about 1/3 of a teaspoonful[3]of fluid like the white of an egg flowed out upon my fingers aqueus fluid I suppose The eye has not lost its natural appearance I can see sufficiently well with it, to avoid the furniture etc in walking through a room can almost in full light recognize some of my friends But cannot distinguish one letter from another of common type I would like to hear Dr Carrs opinion of my case When I received [illegible] blow I could not feel any pain or faintness because the tre- mendous thought glared full on me that my right eye was lost I could gladly have died on the spot because I did not feel that I could have heart to look at any flower again But this is not so for I wish to try some cloudy day to walk to the woods where I am sure some of springs sweet first born is waitin