Writing things I almost cannot say: Awakening the soul and (en)lightening the load

During a tumultuous transition phase in my life I use creative writing and storying to piece/peace together painful and everyday experiences and reconcile past and present loss and trauma. Using poetry, story fragments and life history writing I work to connect to what matters to me and make sense of my life and my living. As I do this I discover that writing my stories into being, writing my particular points of view, at points in time, examining what I think I have learned in my conflicted and ruptured relationships, and in my moments of connection and love, matters – a lot. Writing the things I almost cannot say, stories written in the dark, to the dark, through the dark, and with the dark, offer me ways to remember what I have learned. Writing offers to me a way of being-becoming out the darkness into which I have fallen, out of the depression and discomfort that accompanies me, out of the wounding and numbness that follows me, and into a space to stop and rest. And listen. And remember. And heal. The depth of pain fully felt, allows light into my dark hours and awakens me to the life and love I have, have had, and will have