What is this thing called love? Defining the love that supports marriage and family

The aim of this article was to define, on the basis of theorizing and research, the love that supports marriage and the family, or the type of love that is related to high levels of satisfaction in relationships, to the psychological well-being of family members and to stable family relationships. Literature is reviewed that explores the emotional, cognitive, and behavioral aspects of both mature and immature love, and I conclude that all three aspects of love can be either mature or immature. With regard to the emotional component, I have noted that feelings of both passion and companionship can continue throughout life. Immature love is exemplified in such constructs as limerence, love addiction, and infatuation. Given that love is socially constructed, I note that it can be strongly affected by the beliefs about love that are present in the culture, and that these beliefs can be either functional or dysfunctional. Particularly dysfunctional beliefs include those emphasizing that love is blind, external, and beyond the control of the lovers. Behaviors characteristic of mature and immature love are also explored. It seems that mature love may be best conceptualized as creating an environment in which both the lovers and those who depend on them can grow and develop. This type of love supports marriage and family life