Death and divorce in a family of a preschool child and the role of parents and preschool teachers

V diplomski nalogi smo preučevali procese, komunikacijo in vire pomoči, ki so povezani z dvema precej pogostima življenjskima stiskama v družini predšolskih otrok, to sta smrt in razveza. Ta tematika je zlasti pomembna iz vidika profesionalne usposobljenosti vzgojiteljev, ki so v dnevnem stiku z otroki in starši, ki preživljajo tovrstne stiske in večkrat ne vedo, kako komunicirati ali reagirati v teh situacijah. Otroci v času žalovanja ali razveze doživljajo zelo različne reakcije. Pri pojavu smrti v družini je potrebno otroku biti v oporo predvsem v procesu žalovanja, razumevanja smrti kot pojava in doživljanju različnih socialnih in emocionalnih reakcij, ki jih otrok ob tem doživlja. Pri razvezi pa otrok potrebuje oporo zlasti iz vidika občutka varnosti, navezanosti na pomembne odrasle, preprečevanja napačnih otrokovih predstav o njegovi krivdi za razvezo ter utrjevanja zaupanja in ljubezni pomembnih odraslih oseb v otrokovem okolju. Izvedli smo raziskavo (N = 160), kjer smo primerjali mnenja strokovnih delavcev in staršev in ugotovili, da so strokovni delavci bolje seznanjeni s procesi, vezanimi na smrt in razvezo, kot starši, čeprav povprečne vrednosti pri obeh skupinah nakazujejo, da se oboji pri komuniciranju z otrokom ne počutijo dovolj kompetentne. Otrokovo stisko za obe situaciji ocenjujejo različno, starši v primeru smrti opažajo več čustvenih obremenitev otroka in več sprememb pri vedenju z vrstniki kot strokovni delavci. V primeru razveze pa starši opažajo več znakov krize zaradi razveze kot strokovni delavci, le-ti pa pogosteje menijo, da otrok ob razvezi ne dojame posledic. Sklenemo lahko, da bi se vsi odrasli, ki predšolskim otrokom predstavljajo pomemben objekt navezanosti in varnosti, morali usposobiti za pomoč otroku v teh situacijah ali vsaj pravočasno poiskati oporo, znanje, informacije, kadar se znajdemo v procesu žalovanja ali razveze.In this diploma paper, I study families of preschool children undergoing two very common forms of life distress, death and divorce, and the processes, communication and sources of help, closely connected with them. This topic is especially important from the perspective of professional qualifications of the preschool teachers who are in daily contact with children and their parents undergoing such trauma and who do not know how to communicate or react in such situations. Children react differently in times of grieving or divorce. When it comes to the death of a family member, a child needs support especially in the process of mourning, understanding the phenomenon of death and experiencing different social and emotional reactions they are going through. In case of a divorce, a child needs support particularly in terms of safety and their attachment to the important adults. A child also needs further support in preventing misperceptions about their responsibility for the divorce and their reinforcing trust and love of the important adults in a child’s environment. A research was conducted (N = 160), where the opinions of professional staff and of parents were compared. The results show that the professionals are more familiar with the processes related to death and divorce than the parents, even though the median values in both groups indicate that neither the professionals nor the parents feel competent enough in communicating with the child. They evaluate the child’s distress in both situations differentlyin case of death, parents notice more emotional strain on a child and more changes in behavior towards the child’s peers than the professionals. In case of a divorce, parents notice more signs of crisis because of that than the professionals, who, on the other hand, claim more often that a child does not fully comprehend the consequences of a divorce. It can therefore be concluded that all adults who are important objects of attachment and safety for a preschool child should obtain qualifications in order to be able to offer help in such situations, or at least find timely support, knowledge and information when one is involved in the process of mourning or divorce