Gay adoptive families: what is the impact of the legal status? A comparison between Belgium and France

Despite the numerous studies on gay families, the current literature that has focused specifically on gay adoptive parent families remains rather limited. In Europe the laws on adoption by same-sex couples change radically from a country to another one. That’s why the experience of these families can be very different according to their country of residence.What are the main stressors that gay adoptive parents have to face? What are the strategies of coping built by these families?This exploratory research examines the stressors and the coping strategies of 18 gay adoptive families (12 from France, 6 from Belgium) with children aged from 3 to 10. Participants were recruited via adoption agencies. Belgian parents adopted their children through national full joint adoption. Conversely, French participants became parents through international adoption as “single parents” (even if they were in a relationship, just one of the partners was legally involved in the adoption). Semi-structured interviews were conducted with parents.Using grounded theory methods, analyses revealed that parents face different stressors such as the homophobia by social workers, the lack of support by families of origin and social context, the afraid of not being considered parents "like the others" and the worry about discrimination of their children. In the French sample, these stressors were increased by a long procedure in which the “legal parent” had to lie about his sexual orientation and the other parent had to hide himself in order to assure the success of the adoption procedure. This can have a negative impact on the couple's relationship, on the feeling of legitimacy about parental role, in the relationship with the child and with the extended family.To cope with these stressors, many adaptive strategies have proved to be useful: don’t hide the sexual orientation to the children, join adoption associations, share experiences with other gay parents, take care of the couple relationship, being in touch with accepting people and protect themselves from discriminatory people.This comparison between Belgian and French families’ experience allows us to understand the impact of the legal status on the life of gay parents and their children.