[[alternative]]To find the Holy Grail of romantic relationship--The study of the mate selection process of unmarried male in early adulthood

[[abstract]] 本研究旨在探討成年前期未婚男性欲建立親密關係背後的目的與需求；還有瞭解未婚男性心中懷有的理想親密關係互動模式與認同之伴侶特質，歸納現今男性的擇偶偏好；並檢視不同特質、不同背景條件的未婚男性於擇偶歷程中所遭逢之現實境遇，又是如何因應問題與調適自身情緒，以調配個人對親密關係的期待與真實世界的限制。 本研究採取質性研究中的敘事研究方法，深入訪談四位曾有或正處於擇偶歷程之成年前期未婚男性，以其自我敘說的生命故事為文本，並以「整體－內容」方式呈現其生命故事；另以「類別－內容」方式探討與歸納成年前期未婚男性在尋覓伴侶的不同階段中，其經驗、態度、觀念轉化以及價值的取得。 研究結果發現成年前期未婚男性現階段的人生發展任務為建立親密關係，以滿足個人內在需求並因應外界關切的壓力；關係中的性別角色期許融合傳統與現代的色彩，渴求伴侶為知性與感性兼具的氣質女子，兩人的互動關係要注重溝通與包容；空間接近為產生吸引力的主要前提，男性的擇偶現實境遇仍須負起主動追求的態度，擇偶歷程中會面臨個人條件、能力、個性與價值觀、周遭社會網絡的檢視、其他替代人選出現、空間距離增加等等內外在因素的考驗，受到衝擊的自我認同也須再次重整，進而才能淬煉出成熟的智慧與態度，建立真正理想的親密關係。[[abstract]] The main purpose of this study is to acquire the early-adulthood-unmarried-male whose goals and demands behind establishing romantic relationship. Furthermore, this research wants to find out the male whose ideal romantic relationship interaction pattern and the approval characteristic of the marital partner in one’s own mind. Thus, it concludes the preference of mate selection on nowadays male and inspects the real circumstances in mate selection process from person to person, in addition, it shows that the unmarried male was how to cope with the question and adjust the suitable own mood in accordance to the personal anticipation of romantic relationship and the restrict from the actual circumstances. Among all the qualitative research method, this study adopts the narrative research, thorough deep interviewing four early-adulthood-unmarried-male who once had been or is being in selecting the marital partner. Furthermore, it takes the life story which oneself narrated as a text. While the holistic-content mode is applied to delineate the whole picture of their life stories, the categorical-content mode serves to sum up the value obtaining as well as the transitions from individual experience, manner and thoughts which was got from different mate selection stages by the early-adulthood-unmarried-male. The research result found that unmarried male whose major task, at the early adulthood phase, is to set up the romantic relationship in order to meet individual intrinsic need and cope with the pressure from external concern. In addition, as to the anticipation to couples, have some contradictive expectation between modern and traditional wives who should be a temperamental lady contains with the intellect and sensibility. Besides, the sexual interpersonal couples must pay great attention to the communication and containing to each other. Moreover, the space propinquity is one of the main premise producing the attraction. In respect to the actual mate selection circumstances, the male is not only responsible for initiative pursue manner, but also been checked by individual condition, the ability, the individuality, the values as well as the restrict from social network, moreover, there is some internal and external crises like alternative attraction, the interpersonal space increasing, and so forth. After all, the self-approval ,belong to the unmarried male,which had been attacked in the mate selection process have to be rebuilt successfully. In this way, it can extract the mature wisdom and manner to set up the genuine ideal romantic relationships