[[alternative]]A Narrative Study of Self-Searching of a Special Education Elemantary School Male Teacher

[[abstract]] 回首所來徑，交織於自我教學生涯的片段；這一場自我的對話與省思，是剖析自我的意圖與行動。從教學生涯的起始，在單純的教學工作下，逐漸因為資源班老師與普通班老師角色的轉換而有了不一樣的體會與感受。透過自我敘說，我重新檢視自我教學生涯過往的片段，並予解構。透過「文本我」與「實體我」相互的交流，給予自己重新與教學生涯對話與省思的機會；也在故事的敘說之中，產生一種自我鼓舞的動力，重新架構一條「師路」。 本文旨在探索自己在學習成為「人師」這一條路上的一些經驗與發現，以自我敘說方式進行資料蒐集，然後以階段、主題的方式呈現研究分析結果。我的人師之路可以分為六個階段：「毅然揮別文青夢，忐忑踏上杏壇路」、「初出茅廬為人師，案牘勞形為哪樁」、「俯首甘為孺子牛，磨劍數年未成鋒」、「回任特教非所願，物是人非事事休」、「駕馭風火輪，騎動新人生」、「雙手緊握無一物，轉身釋然天地寬」。 整個學習成為人師的過程面臨幾個議題：個人成就感的追尋、自我存在意義的肯認、以及掌控的權力慾望。影響我最多的是我的學生，他們讓我有機會實踐我的教育理念，也讓我得以從許多錯誤中學習與成長。[[abstract]] While looking back, it is all the fragments that interwoven with my teaching career; a self-dialect and reflection. Moreover, it is a self-analysis of my own intention and reaction. The shifting roles from being a regular teacher to a special class teacher has aroused myself various reactions and feelings. Therefore, I would like to review all my own teaching process and deconstruct it. Through the intercommunication between the “text-selfness” and “actual-selfness,” it offer an opportunity for my own retrospection and dialogue. And further, a power of self-encouragement may thus produce to construct “a road of being a teacher.” The paper aims to explore, collect and categorize my result from my own experience of “learning to become a teacher.” By the self-narrative approach to data collection, and then to phase my theme in to six stages: a. “the commencement: trying to begin my teaching career;” b. “Being an earnest teacher without knowing my will and future plan;” c. “ The teaching process goes on smoothly and commonly;” d. “Return my old duty with the shifting condition;” e. “ A new beginning with active power;” f. “ the mature period of knowing when and how to let go.” During the whole process of my learning to become a teacher faces several issues: a. the pursuit of personal accomplishment, self-recognition of existence and the desire for power and control. My students taught me lot and influenced me the most. They let me have a chance to practice my philosophy of education, allow me to learn and grow from the mistakes