Emotionella sprickor och utbrott - i en sorg

Intangible feelings of sorrow and grief, caused by events like separation, death, loss and trauma, all leave some kind of traces in us and they play an important role in our development. The individualistic society here in Sweden has shaped us to keep our feelings inside and at bay; since our childhood we have learnt that showing emotions like tears, sorrow and sadness are signs of weakness and can make others and yourself feel uncomfortable. With the starting point from my own experience and understanding of how we can deal and handle grief, I take a closer look on how jewelry, objects and rituals can be of importance in a grieving process and our lack of visual outer display of grief in today’s society. Through Sara Ahmeds theory I found a new possible way of understanding emotions and how they shape us. This is a contrast to our psychoanalytic way of understanding how we are formed as individuals. According to Ahmed, emotions and identity are created in actions and interaction with others and are under constant movement and therefore we need social context to be understood and seen. In order not to be isolated in our grief, we need support of others and when words are hard to find; rituals, corpus and jewelry, can be tools and signs to communicate. Things can be a link to what has been lost. They have a power to visualize emotions and communicate to yourself and others when words are hard to find. In a situation of loss new rituals can be formed and be of help in accepting of what has happened. Thus it is possible to comprehend the changes you face. The starting point for this work was that I myself went through a loss, causing a feeling of numbness and disconnection and unreality. The crack in the wall in my apartment then became of help; it illustrated what was happening inside me and in my life. In this work the crack is a metaphor, a sign of turbulent emotions under the surface that cannot be contained any longer, causing leakage and eruptions. I use the crack as a filter for visualizing states in a grieving process. When a crack is formed it is often a sign of a sudden change and when it is emerging it is often through pain. It is also evidence that everything is moving. Even the things we consider to be the most stable are moving. Underneath the surface there is a vivid life going on and a crack can be the place where you can see some of the layers and fragments we consist of. This can be the place for something new to grow, new possibilities to form.