Forming partnerships after experiencing sexual abuse

V svojem magistrskem delu sem se osredotočila na raziskovanje izkušenj žrtev spolne zlorabe, poudarek je bil na vzpostavljanju partnerskega odnosa po preživeti spolni zlorabi. V pregledu problematike sem predstavila, kaj sploh je spolna zloraba, kdo so povzročitelji, kakšne posledice pusti spolna zloraba, kakšne strategije preživetja uberejo preživele in kako poteka okrevanje. Dotaknila sem se tudi vzpostavljanja partnerskega odnosa po preživetju spolne zlorabe in doživljanja spolnosti. V raziskovalnem delu svojega magistrskega dela sem opravila pogovore z desetimi sodelujočimi in pri tem raziskovala, kakšno je njihovo življenje in partnerski odnos. Ugotovila sem, da je spolna zloraba travma, ki na osebi pusti dolgotrajne posledice, ki so specifične za vsako žrtev, zato je rezultate izjemno težko posplošiti. Povzročitelj zlorabe je lahko kdor koli in zloraba se lahko zgodi na kateri koli točki življenja. Občutki po preživetju največkrat zajemajo krivdo, strah, samoobtoževanje, velikokrat se pojavljajo trigerji oziroma sprožilci ter flashbacki. Strategije preživetja je težko klasificirati na dobre in slabe, saj na glede na vse pomagajo osebi preživeti. Okrevanje je dolgotrajen proces, ki ne sledi vedno določenim korakom. Ugotovila sem tudi, da se je podpora prijateljev izkazala kot ključna pri okrevanju, odzivi pomagajočih pa so bili velikokrat škodljivi. Sodelujoče so vstopale v romantična razmerja, ki so jih opisovala kot ljubeča, varna, spoštljiva in polna komunikacije. Preživetje zlorabe so partnerjem razkrile, odzivi pa so bili lahko spodbudni ali škodljivi tako za njih kot za sam potek razmerja. Sogovornice partnerjem zaupajo in se trudijo postavljati tako osebne kot intimne meje. V razmerju so sposobne poskrbeti zase, se čutijo ljubljene in nezadovoljene potrebe komunicirajo s partnerjem. Poročale so o ovirah, ki se pojavijo v intimi. Menim, da bi morali tematiki vzpostavljanja odnosov po preživetju spolne zlorabe nameniti več pozornosti, saj so odnosi sestavni del vsakega življenja. Več bi bilo treba narediti tudi v smeri ozaveščanja javnosti, izobrazbe pomagajočih in ustanavljanja ter promocije društev, ki se ukvarjajo s to tematiko.In my thesis, I focused on researching the experiences of victims of sexual abuse, the emphasis was on forming partner relationships after surviving sexual abuse. In an overview of the problem, I presented what sexual abuse is, who are the perpetrators, what consequences sexual abuse leaves, what are survival strategies and what recovery looks like. I also touched on establishing a partner relationship after surviving sexual abuse and experiencing intimacy. In the research part of my thesis, I conducted conversations with ten participants, where I researched what their life and relationship look like. I have discovered that sexual abuse is trauma that leaves long-term consequences on a person that are specific to each victim, so it is extremely difficult to generalize the results. Anyone can be the perpetrator of abuse and abuse can happen at any point in life. Feelings after the experience mostly include guilt, fear, self-blame, triggers and flashbacks often appear. It is difficult to classify survival strategies into good or bad, since they help a person to deal whit the consequences of the abuse. Recovery is a long-term process that does not always follow certain steps. I also found that the support of friends proved to be the key in recovery, but the reactions of experts were often harmful. The participants formed romantic relationships that they described as loving, secure, respectful and full of communication. Abuse was revealed to partners and the responses helped or hurt the relationship. Victims trust their partners and try to set both personal and intimate boundaries. In a relationship, they are able to take care of themselves, feel loved and communicate unsatisfied needs with their partner. They often experience obstacles in intimacy. I believe that more attention should be paid to the topic of establishing relationships after surviving sexual abuse, because relationships are an integral part of every life. More should also be done in the direction of public awareness, education of those helping, and establishment and promotion of organizations dealing with this topic