Colouring outside the lines, transformative experiences of creativity and teacher self(ves)

grantor: University of TorontoThis research assisted six secondary school teachers in transforming professional practice in self-designing ways through an arts-based examination of their experiences of creativity and teacher self(ves). We are Eleanor, Martha, Jesse, Marie, George Jeffrey and Margie. Broader purposes include school, system and teacher education reform. Heuristic phenomenology furnished me with a methodological and conceptual foundation that was scientifically rigorous; at the same time highlighting the creative process, honouring creative imagination, and encouraging arts-based ways of knowing and representation. Through heuristic self-inquiry, I reflected on how my experiences of school as a student had silenced my creativity (represented by "Little Margie") in favour of conformity, and how these experiences had shaped my teaching practice. My heuristic self-inquiry also led me to choices about the theoretical framework for this inquiry, emphasizing personal construct theory, transformative teacher education, art as experience, and art as encounter. The research process enabled me to begin "colouring outside the lines" of restraining traditions in teaching and research. The main component of the research design was three in-depth focused interviews: the first centred on a repertory grid and learning conversation exploring initial self-perceptions of teacher self(ves); the second centred on implicit beliefs and personal experiences of creativity; the third centred on revisiting the initial repertory grid and creativity. I present each co-researcher's experience of teacher transformation as a trilogy. Co-researchers remain identifiable throughout the research. To contextualize my research findings, I have added an interpretative section. Two essential structures of transformative experience emerged: (1) Encountering "the tyranny of the should"; and (2) Encountering the creative being and the real self ('creative'self). I found that the role of teacher places powerful demands on the 'creative'selves, of all six co-researchers. Paradoxically, 'creative'selves were reclaimed only after identifying personal "shoulds" that interfered with expression of self in teaching. Through my search, I reclaimed "Little Margie."Ph.D