COMO LA FLOR THAT GREW ON THE BORDERLANDS: IMPACT OF LINGUISTIC TERRORISM ON BILINGUAL LATINA/O/X LANGUAGE EXPERIENCES

This thesis focuses on the unique experiences of bilingual Spanish-speaking Latina/o/x individuals who have grown up in the U.S. through a critical methodology and testimonio. I look into understanding bilingual Latina/o/x lived experiences surrounding their native Spanish fluency to explore the extents to which Spanish fluency–and subsequent language critiques about their fluency–plays a role in Latina/o/x identity formation and Latina/o/x intragroup relations through the following themes: (1) The kind of Spanish that was useful: functions of language, (2) Como que mi perdí en los dos lados: Effects of language loss stigma, and (3) Barriers and acts of resistance. Findings show that students had dismissed their own experiences of language anxiety due to believing that this was an experience unique to them and have additionally internalized language critiques that have been directed at them. Findings also showed that language plays a prominent role in group membership within Latina/o/x communities, and those communities play a more significant role in language maintenance decisions than previously thought; the participants stated how much they valued how other Latina/o/x perceived them and their language. The testimonios in this thesis give clarity to the lived experiences of bilingual Latina/o/x of varying levels of Spanish proficiency and illustrate the potential to positively impact our communities through the reframing of how we see language maintenance works