Master of Fine Arts

thesisIn this thesis, I refer to desire as Desire to articulate this research of paradoxical processes that are rooted in grief. Through personal narrative, I discuss how the body holds onto loss to honor its past, but is still able to move forward because of its Desires. I frame this research metaphorically: like a rhizome, I see Desire as an unseen and intrinsic part of one's self that entangles and grows. I call these entanglements paradoxical systems that the body physicalizes and in turn, grows a new body. This new body reveals internal and complex Desires that are able to guide one on a transformative journey. This paradoxical process was explored through the creative process of "The Spark That Ignites a Light: Awakening the Heart Chambers," which was performed at the Hayes Christensen Theatre in December 2017. In Chapter 1 of this thesis, I examine Desire by looking at the female and poetic perspectives of Emily Dickinson, Audre Lorde, and Maya Angelou. Chapters 2 through 5 begin with personal narratives that establish my relationship to the creative process. In Chapters 3 through 5, I present three paradoxes that are essential in cultivating complex Desires within the body: private/public, familiar/unfamiliar, and resistance/surrender. In conclusion, I discuss the multidimensionality of grief that serves as a vehicle to reveal the body's inner and complex Desires