When low self-esteem encourages behaviors that risk rejection to increase interdependence: The role of relational self-construal

Increasing interdependence in an intimate relationship requires engaging in behaviors that risk rejection, such as expressing affection and asking for support. Who takes such risks and who avoids them? Although several theoretical perspectives suggest that self-esteem plays a crucial role in shaping such behaviors, they can be used to make competing predictions regarding the direction of this effect. Six studies reconcile these contrasting predictions by demonstrating that the effects of self-esteem on behaviors that risk rejection to increase interdependence depend on relational self-construal—that is, the extent to which people define themselves by their close relationships. In Studies 1 and 2, participants were given the opportunity to disclose negative personal information (Study 1) and feelings of intimacy (Study 2) to their dating partners. In Study 3, married couples reported the extent to which they confided in one another. In Study 4, we manipulated self-esteem and relational self-construal, and participants reported their willingness to engage in behaviors that increase interdependence. In Studies 5 and 6, we manipulated the salience of interpersonal risk, and participants reported their willingness to engage in behaviors that risk rejection to increase interdependence. In all 6 studies, self-esteem was positively associated with behaviors that can increase interdependence among people low in relational self-construal but negatively associated with those behaviors among people high in relational self-construal. Accordingly, theoretical descriptions of the role of self-esteem in relationships will be most complete to the extent that they consider the degree to which people define themselves by their close relationships