Experiencing intimacy and the mourning process in couples after death of a child

Intimnost je pomemben gradnik partnerskega razmerja, ki loči partnerstvo od drugih, prav tako pomembnih odnosov. Rojstvo otroka je mejnik v partnerstvu, ki obogati razmerje, diametralno pa izguba otroka povzroči spremembe v partnerski homeostazi in postavi partnerstvo pred pomembno preizkušnjo, katera lahko odnos okrepi ali pa uniči do točke razpada. Partnerja se tako v obdobju po izgubi otroka soočita z dolgotrajnim žalovanjem, predvsem pa je pomembno, da ponovno poiščeta in ovrednotita svojo identiteto in hkrati najdeta nov smisel. V okviru magistrskega dela smo s pomočjo individualnih doživljanj intervjuvank raziskali doživljanje sprememb na področju intimnosti in doživljanje procesa žalovanja v partnerskem odnosu po izgubi otroka. V izvedeni raziskavi je sodelovalo pet udeleženk, ki so za potrebe raziskave morale izpolnjevati zahtevano merilo. Izkazalo se je, da je izguba otroka povzročila pozitivne spremembe na področju intimnosti in oblikovala edinstveno vez v partnerskem odnosu. Na žalovanje, ki se je izkazalo za univerzalni proces, je imel velik vpliv dejavnik okoliščine smrti. Nenadne smrti so povzročile večji stres in daljše obdobje šoka ter individualno spoprijemanje z žalovanjem v začetni fazi. Pričakovana smrt pa je partnerja povezala že v času zdravljenja njunega otroka in tako sta po smrti nadaljevala s skupnim žalovanjem. Komunikacija, čas in poslušanje so se izkazali za osrednje elemente pri spremembi intimnosti, prav tako tudi v procesu žalovanja. Med partnerjema in družino je potekala iskrena komunikacija in deljenje skupnih spominov ter občutkov na izgubljenega otroka ali sorojenca. Za pomemben element pri izidu žalovanja se je pokazala skrb za žive otroke. Udeleženkam so največjo oporo v času žalovanja nudile mame s podobno izkušnjo izgube otroka. Vsaka posameznica je s svojim pokojnim otrokom oblikovala trajne vezi, s katerimi pa vzdržujejo povezanost še danes. Poleg tega se je za izredno pomemben dejavnik pri prebolevanju izgube izkazalo prebiranje literature s področja smrti, posmrtnega življenja in potovanja duš.Intimacy is an important component of a partnership, setting it apart from other, equally important relationships. The birth of a child is a milestone in a partnership that enriches the relationship. Diametrically, the loss of a child changes the homeostasis of the partnership and puts it to an important test that can strengthen or destroy the relationship. In the aftermath of the loss of a child, partners face a long period of mourning, where it is essential to find and re-evaluate their identity and find a new sense of purpose. In this master\u27s thesis, we explored the changes in intimacy and the mourning process in the partnership after the loss of a child. Based on the predefined qualification criteria we conducted the study on five participants in a form of an interview, collecting individual experiences of the interviewees. The study showed that the loss of a child brings positive changes in intimacy and forms a unique bond in the partnership. Mourning has proved to be a universal process and has been greatly influenced by the circumstances of death. Sudden deaths caused more stress and resulted in a prolonged period of shock and individual coping with grief in the initial phase. The expected death, however, brought the partners together during the treatment of their child, and they continued to mourn together after the death. Communication, time and listening have proved to be key factors in the change of intimacy, as well as in the mourning process. The results show a fostering of honest communication between the partners and the family, sharing memories and feelings about the lost child or sibling. Furthermore, care for living children proved to be an important factor affecting the outcome of the grieving. The greatest support for the participants during the grieving process came from mothers with a similar experience of losing a child. Each of the interviewees had formed lasting bonds with their deceased child. Lastly, reading literature on death, the afterlife and the journey of the soul proved to be an extremely important factor in coping with loss