Attachment and romantic relationships: The role of models of self and other

Romantic love relationships are among the most endlessly fascinating, yet frustratingly complex, parts of life: inspiring more art, literature, and music than any other topic. Making sense of how and why romantic relationships function the way they do is, therefore, a research endeavour at once most rewarding and yet never-ending. Why do some relationships sail through everything that life throws at them, when others flounder at the first hiccup? Why does one friend experience drama after tumultuous drama with each new boyfriend, when another can’t trust or open up to anyone enough to get beyond a second date? Attachment theory (Bowlby, 1969, 1973, 1980) draws on clinical, developmental, social, personality, and cognitive psychology and provides a rich theoretical framework for examining and answering such perennial questions. Although it was developed originally in the context of infants and their caregivers, in recent decades the theory has also provided insight into the development and functioning of romantic relationships. This chapter describes romantic relationship processes from an attachment perspective. We highlight in particular the cognitive models of self and others that form a person’s attachment pattern or orientation. These models colour the lens with which he or she views the self and the social world, and in turn underlie individual differences in romantic relationship functioning