Putting love to the test : understanding willingness to sacrifice in relationship dilemmas

In what circumstances do individual sacrifice direct self-interest for the good of their partner or their relationship? The research presented in this thesis used interdependence theory (Kelley & Thibaut, 1978; Thibaut & Kelley, 1959) as a theoretical framework for examining willingness to sacrifice in intimate relationship dilemmas. Two person specific variables, commitment and personal relationship needs, were examined alongside three situation specific variables, the cost of sacrificing, partners’ relationship needs, and partners’ strategy. The research had a varied methodological base consisting of two laboratory-based studies (outcome matrices represented relationship dilemmas), a scenario based paradigm, and a recall paradigm. The situation specific variables revealed tendencies for individuals to strive to maximise personal outcomes rather than joint outcomes. Individuals were consistently found to sacrifice less in dilemmas involving a high level costs and rewards, exhibited less sacrifice with a selfish partner as opposed to a sacrificial partner, and less sacrifice when paired with a partner who was described as being high in relationship needs. However, the person specific variables demonstrated factors within intimate relationships that may restrict this pursuit of self-interest. In line with previous research (e.g. Van Lange, Agnew, Harinck & Steemers, 1997) a positive relationship was found between commitment and willingness to sacrifice. However the current research demonstrated that this relationship is only found in dilemmas that involve a high level of costs and rewards (e.g. moving home). When the costs and rewards involved are low (e.g. washing up), individuals classified as low in commitment exhibit similar levels, or sometimes even greater sacrifice, than individuals classified as high in commitment. It was demonstrated that individuals who are highly committed to their relationship hold more dyad-focused motives (e.g. concern for partner’s well-being and needs) than less committed individuals.