The debates between Bayesian, frequentist, and other methodologies of statistics have tended to focus on conceptual justifications, sociological arguments, or mathematical proofs of their long run properties. Both Bayesian statistics and frequentist (“classical”) statistics have strong cases on these grounds. In this article, we instead approach the debates in the “Statistics Wars” from a largely unexplored angle: simulations of different methodologies’ performance in the short to medium run. We used Big Data methods to conduct a large number of simulations using a straightforward decision problem based around tossing a coin with unknown bias and then placing bets. In this simulation, we programmed four players, inspired by Bayesian statist...