Astrophysical accretion is arguably the most prevalent physical process in the Universe; it occurs during the birth and death of individual stars and plays a pivotal role in the evolution of entire galaxies. Accretion onto a black hole, in particular, is also the most efficient mechanism known in nature, converting up to 40% of accreting rest mass energy into spectacular forms such as high-energy (X-ray and gamma-ray) emission and relativistic jets. Whilst magnetic fields are thought to be ultimately responsible for these phenomena, our understanding of the microphysics of MHD turbulence in accretion flows as well as large-scale MHD outflows remains far from complete. We present a new theoretical model for astrophysical disk accretion which...