Conflicts in romantic relationships : the role of self-compassion and self-esteem

This study examined how self-compassion and self-esteem are related to constructive\ud responses during a conflict in romantic relationships. During negative self-relevant\ud events, self-compassion has been shown to predict positive affect and motivation to\ud improve, whereas self-esteem predicts aggression, resistance to feedback, and denial.\ud This study suggests that similar reactions may manifest when interacting with a romantic\ud partner, in that self-compassion predicts a constructive response to conflict and self-esteem\ud predicts a destructive response to conflict. Participants completed an online\ud survey in which they rated their levels of self-compassion and self-esteem before\ud describing in detail the last argument the participant had with a romantic partner.\ud Participants then completed measures on how they relate to their significant others, and\ud constructive and destructive behaviors they typically engage in after a conflict. Results\ud showed that self-compassion was a stronger predictor of constructive behaviors including\ud handling conflict more effectively, being less likely to lose control and make personal\ud attacks, compromise and negotiation, and accepting influence from one???s partner\ud compared to self-esteem. In contrast, self-esteem predicted negative conflict behaviors\ud such as handling conflict ineffectively, and marginally predicted less compromise,\ud negotiation, and acceptance of a partner???s influence. These results suggest that in addition\ud self-compassion being a better alternative to self-esteem when relating to the self, self-compassion\ud may also be a better alternative when relating to others