The Antidote To Lack of Confidence and Elusive Inspiration

Going into grad school I was sure that I would develop the confidence to face any artistic or creative challenge. Inspiration would no longer be something that I would have to seek out, nurture, or patiently await; it would simply be there. I’ve been forced to face many things during my time here at UCSD, the reality of these two falsehoods however, are by far the most valuable. After one day confessing to Gregory Wallace my interest in developing greater confidence as an actor he responded in so many words with “confidence is a fair-weather friend in this business. Get used to it.” In a similar vein, the bottomless bounty of inspiration that I thought I would have at my beck and call has also proven unpredictable. What three years at UCSD have taught me however is that the solution--or rather remedy--to both of these truths is work: hard, uncompromising, rigorous work. Don’t know your lines, uncertain about your character arc, not sure if you’re good enough? Put in work. The result is unequivocally in tall or short order, greater confidence. The same applies to inspiration. Have I developed a greater number of avenues to pursue inspiration than I had never dreamed? Certainly. Does inspiration continue to elude me at times? Of course. As before, putting in the time, digging deep, remembering my love for language, the stage, and collaboration…and then putting in the work