Experiencing the relationship of young adult women with their mothers in terms of the self-differentiation process and emotional parenting in the family

Odnos med materjo in hčerjo je kompleksen in edinstven, saj kot temeljni odnos navezanosti predstavlja osnovo za vzpostavljanje nadaljnjih odnosov v življenju. V teoretičnem delu avtorica raziskuje pojem čustvenega starševstva, ki predstavlja kompleksno področje vzgoje in stika med starši in otroki ter osvetli specifike starševstva v odnosu mati-hči. Razvoju tega odnosa sledi preko obdobja adolescence do zgodnje odraslosti, ko so udeleženke že dosegle določeno stopnjo avtonomnosti in sposobnosti reflektivnega pogleda na ta odnos. Osvetli tudi proces razvoja diferenciranega jaza, saj raziskave kažejo na povezanost med stilom starševstva in doseženo stopnjo diferenciacije jaza pri posamezniku. V empiričnem delu je bila uporabljena fenomenološka metoda pridobivanja podatkov. Sodelovalo je 8 udeleženk, starih od 25 do 35 let, ki so preko polstrukturiranih intervjujev sledile vodilnemu raziskovanemu vprašanju: Kako so mlade odrasle ženske doživljale svoj odnos z materjo tekom odraščanja z vidika čustvenega starševstva, ki so ga bile deležne v izvorni družini in z vidika procesa diferenciacije jaza? Kot pripomoček v raziskovanju sta bila uporabljena tudi dva vprašalnika – Vprašalnik o čustvenem starševstvu in Vprašalnik diferenciacije jaza. Udeleženke so v intervjujih izpostavile potrebo po varnosti čustvenega samorazkrivanja v odnosu z materjo, zdravih razmejitvah in spoštovanju medsebojne različnosti. Tiste, ki so bile deležne večje mere čustvenega starševstva v otroštvu, so tudi v obdobju adolescence in na v prehodu odraslost doživljale odnos z materjo kot bolj pozitiven in bile z njimi bolj povezane. Odnosi so se med seboj razlikovali v količini prijetnih in neprijetnih občutkov, ki so jih doživljale, pogostosti in intenzivnosti konfliktov med materami in hčerkami, v količini in kvaliteti pogovora med njimi. Vsi ti procesi so prispevali k oblikovanju različno diferenciranega jaza pri udeleženkah, vendar se odnos z materjo ni izkazal kot edini dejavnik pri oblikovanju visoko diferenciranega jaza žensk.The relationship between mother and daughter is complex and unique, and as a fundamental relationship of attachment it forms the basis for establishing further relationships in life. In the theoretical part, the author explores the concept of emotional parenting, which represents a complex area of education and a bond between parents and children. The author also highlights the specifics of parenting in the mother-daughter relationship. The development of this relationship is being followed through the period of adolescence to early adulthood, when the participants have already reached a certain level of autonomy and the ability to reflect this relationship. Furthermore, the author highlights the process of developing a differentiated self, as the research shows a link between parenting style and the level of self-differentiation achieved by an individual. In the empirical part, a phenomenological method of data acquisition was used. There were 8 participants, aged 25 to 35, who followed the leading research question through semi-structured interviews: How did young adult women experience their relationship with mother during growing up in terms of the emotional parenting they received in the parental family, and in terms of the process of self-differentiation? Two questionnaires were additionally used as a tool in the research - The Questionnaire on Emotional Parenthood and The Questionnaire on Self-Differentiation. In the interviews the participants highlighted the need for security of the emotional self-disclosure in their relationship with mother, healthy boundaries, and respect for mutual diversity. Those who experienced a greater degree of emotional parenting in childhood, also experienced their relationship with mother as more positive and were more connected to her during the adolescence and the transition to the adulthood. Relationships differed from each other in the amount of pleasant and unpleasant feelings they experienced, the frequency and intensity of conflicts between mothers and daughters, and in the quantity and quality of conversation between them. All these processes contributed to the formation of a differently differentiated self of the participants, but the relationship with mother did not turn out to be the only factor in the formation of a highly differentiated self of women