© 2015 The Author. Recently, the Somali diaspora has found itself at the centre of heightened security concerns surrounding the proliferation of international terrorist networks and their recruitment strategies. These concerns have reached new levels since the absorption of al-Shabaab into al-Qaeda in 2012. Based on a qualitative analysis of interviews with 118 members of Canada's largest Somali community, this article draws upon narrative criminology to reverse the 'why they joined' question that serves as the predicate for much recent radicalization scholarship, and instead explores, 'why they would never join'. We encounter Somali-Canadians equipping themselves with sophisticated counternarratives that vitiate the enticements of al-Shaba...