Revenge after termination of a romantic relationship in young adults: a self-regulation perspective

MA (Clinical Psychology), North-West University, Potchefstroom CampusThe formation of romantic relationships is a fundamental aspect of young adulthood. Therefore, the end of a romantic relationship between young adults especially due to infidelity is often described as one of the most difficult and trying times during this developmental period. Infidelity is linked to a myriad of negative emotions which may lead to thoughts and fantasies of revenge. Revenge may be perceived as a compensatory act for assumed wrong doing and is thus an effort by the aggressed to adapt to the difficult situation. In this study, revenge was approached from a self-regulatory perspective, as self-regulation plays a predominant role in adapting to adversity. The aim of this study was to explore typical thoughts and emotions integral to revenge after real or suspected infidelity and to propose a model representing the perceived cause and effect relationship between these thoughts, emotions and self-regulatory strategies. A non-probability sample of eight young adults participated in the study. Through Interactive Qualitative Analysis (IQA), and Thematic Analysis, 14 themes were identified and developed into a hypothetical model of revenge and self-regulation. From the hypothetical model developed, five distinct phases were identified. These are: 1) The initial phase, which involved, initial shock and confusion, self-doubt, negative emotions, isolation from family and friends. 2) The rumination phase; rumination was postulated to be a key component in the development of revenge - the outcome of rumination, specifically the extent to which insight was gained appeared to decide whether revenge was executed, and which of the following routes were followed. 3) The non-revenge route, followed if insight was gained through rumination and comprised of seeking social support; insight and closure; forgiveness and self-improvement. 4) The revenge route, occurred if rumination did not result in insight and understanding. This path comprised of revenge fantasies; revenge itself and justification for the revenge, as well as following/stalking and finally (5) the intersection between revenge and non-revenge, which encompassed, cutting ties and self-improvement. In relation to revenge and self-regulation, revenge itself may reflect poor self-regulation. Not engaging in vengeful acts may be indicative of recurrent self-regulatory efforts. However, a person’s ability to mitigate acting out, is reliant on the strength and importance of the impulse as well as their capacity in that moment to self-regulate. As illustrated, revenge is a complex construct which unfolds over time within a wider context of different systems of experiences, emotions, thoughts and behaviours. Taking the limitations of the study into account, final conclusions should be made with caution. Future research should explore, whether the suggested model would still hold true if large random samples were utilised. As rumination played such a significant role in whether revenge was executed further research on the exact role played by rumination, revenge fantasies and revenge-justification would be beneficial.Master