What to expect when you’re not expecting : child-freedom, social stigma, and online subjectivities

From Introduction: Today I’m presenting some of the preliminary findings of a study about voluntary childlessness conducted with Indian, Polish, and fellow South African collaborators. Voluntary childlessness is also frequently referred to as being childless by choice or childfree. The term childfree (as opposed to ‘childless’) is intended to show that not having children “can be an active and fulfilling choice”, and to indicate agency and freedom from social obligation. The distinguishing feature of voluntary childlessness is the deliberate avoidance of parenthood, and this is precisely what opens up childfree people, especially married heterosexuals, to greater stigma than the temporarily or involuntarily childless, since it is seen as willing and deliberate deviation from the norm. Having children is seen as a natural consequence of being a “normal” heterosexual woman or man, as well as an expected outcome of marriage. Parenthood is therefore normalised by regulative discourses around sexuality and gender. This process of normalisation is reinforced by pronatalist discourse. According to Meyers, pronatalism rests upon twin strategies: The first is the valorisation or glorification of parenthood, which supports the belief that having children is the only true path to fulfilment. The second strategy is the denigration of non-reproduction in which childlessness is cast as horrific. The result of these dual strategies is to eliminate deliberate childlessness as a possibility. Parenthood, as the only truly viable option for a fulfilling life, is therefore a non-choice. This is compounded by nationalistic and religious rhetoric that constructs childbearing as an obligation or duty. Consequently, as my previous research showed, people often do not reflect on whether to have children or not, but see it more as a matter of timing