Romantic Relationship Decisions: Focusing on the Role of the Partner

Decisions about romantic relationships impact a romantic partner as well as the self. In the present research, I tested whether people can be motivated to make relationship decisions that are not necessarily in their own best interests for the sake of the partner. Studies 1 and 2 examined commitment choices. I found that being randomly assigned to write about previous investments the partner had made into the relationship (e.g., time, energy, material resources) led people to feel more committed to their relationships (Study 1). Further, greater daily investment from the partner predicted increases in own commitment over time, even for people who were relatively dissatisfied with their relationships (Study 2). These effects in Studies 1 and 2 were partly explained by the fact that the partner’s investments elicited feelings of gratitude. I next examined breakup decisions in Study 3 by following 1348 individuals in relationships over a 10-week period. I found that people who believed that a breakup would greatly distress their romantic partner were less likely to break up with their partner over the course of the study. This effect held controlling for many previously identified predictors of breakups (e.g., own commitment, own investment), and extended even to individuals who felt relatively less satisfied with their relationships, less committed to their relationships, less invested in their relationships, and more taken for granted by their partners. Finally, I examined relationship initiation decisions in Studies 4 and 5. Single individuals were presented with the dilemma of whether or not to reject an undesirable romantic date in what they believed to be either a real dating situation or a hypothetical scenario. Participants were less willing to reject the date in reality than participants predicted they would be hypothetically, in part because they felt worse about hurting the potential date’s feelings. Overall, the present research suggests that people do not make romantic relationship choices purely out of self-interest. Rather, the partner’s feelings and perspectives affect relationship decisions across the relationship lifespan, such that people can feel compelled to advance and maintain lower-quality relationships for the sake of the partner.Ph.D.2017-11-30 00:00:0