Great Expectations: Maternal Ideation, Injustice and Entitlement in the Online Infertility Community

Motherhood is one of the most enduring and consequential rites of passage to adult femininity for women. Indeed "motherhood changes everything" (Nelson 2009, p. 3, Fox 2009). However, not all women have access to motherhood. What happens then when women do not have access to the gender ideal of motherhood or to the cultural spaces that define it? How do women deal with this exclusion? In the course of this research I answer these two questions through an examination of women’s blogging in the online infertility community. Women in the online infertility community characterize their fertility challenges as unfair and unjust, wherein their expressions of desire to become mothers are made in direct relation to, and in comparison with, the women around them who are on their way to becoming mothers (i.e., pregnant) or have already become mothers. In characterizing their experience as an injustice, I argue that women begin to lay claim to motherhood as an entitlement. They do so by drawing on, engaging with, and seeking out a multiplicity of cultural and scientific discourses associated with motherhood and women’s bodies. Through an examination of these discourses, I argue that the pursuit of motherhood is a journey that is relational and comparative, and one that happens in a single-gender, homo-social environment. Conceptualizing motherhood as a gendered entitlement, rather than a gender identity achievement allows us to recognize that women’s relationality and sociality are central to how women negotiate gender norms and expectations more broadly. In the face of infertility women in the online community express incredulity about the prospect of never having a biological child of their own and become industrious in navigating their circumstances. Their industrious responses help us locate infertility as a gendered penalty in the larger context of misfortune, which is often overlooked by sociologists.Ph