UMUC - European Division - Mason G Daly - REMARKS at Farewell Party for James and Penny UMPHREY - March 25 1966

Europe;Hoffmann, RosemaryREMARKS at Farewell Party for James & Penny UMPHREY March 25, 1966 Except that the cast changes slightly, the show remains the same. The YEAR OF THE RAT, under the damp direction of Daly, is still running to packed houses of Marylanders who have a reputation for enjoying a good farewell party, a good blast-off, a good departure. This long-running show hit the boards in this very hall a bit over a year ago and, bad as the show is, it just won't fold. So here is another production of the YEAR OF THE RAT. This RAT family should be told about Rats in Japan and they will realize how appropriate our symbolism is. In Japan, the RAT is associated with DAIKOKU, one of the Seven Deities of Good Luck. Daikoku is a word which translates into "great-black" because he hangs around Japanese kitchens and he gets all smoked up in those open fires. But any picture of Daikoku has a few Rats rampant around him. That is because Daikoku is also the deity of rice, and in addition to hanging on the wall of Japanese kitchens, he hangs somewhere enshrined in every Japanese rice granary or store house. Now, rats may live on a ship, but rats also make their nests in granaries and are therefore a close associate of the deity of rice. They help the deity by serving as messengers for Daikoku. So Japan, Jim and Penny, was a paradise for rats in olden times. They could not be killed because of their assistance to Daikoku. To show you that rats are RATS the world around, let me point out that Japanese do not talk about rats leaving the sinking ship; they talk about rats leaving the granary. Like ship rats, granary rats sense danger, disaster before it strikes. Japanese rats desert that granary when they know it is about to be destroyed by fire or flood or typhoon. -that's the end of scene one- The logistics of ridding the division of a director is staggering. The Lefflands, Colwells, and Tottens had many children. Wheaton had fire sales and finger paintings. The Umphreys have Tink. We all know that Tink will travel in more style than her human parents. More paper work, more planes, more shots, more hostesses, more of everything. Tink couldn't come tonight, but we have not forgotten the dear dog. bowl bone flight kit: -cards, asperin, tooth brush, pot for tinkling, parachute, squash ball, and flight map. -end of scene two- The Umphreys are connoisseurs of wine. The best in Splätleses and Ausleses are well known to them. We searched the Mosels and Rheins and rivers of Europe to get them something really exotic - and easy to transport. We have it here. In fact, it is a brash, non-exotic domestic wine from our golden state of California. It comes in this handy flask. It is called "Thunderball." At the very top, for your later interpretation, is the title as placed there when it is bottled in Germany. We just happened to have something from which you can drink this small bottle. In the way of Marylanders in Europe, we just happen to have a MUG to go with you. It happens to be in excellent taste, however; a fine Norwegian mug from Trondheim, hand made, and we think rather well and appropriately engraved. Let me give you some very important personal and profound advice about drinking in the orient, my young friends. That rice wine out there - that hot sake - is something to be watched. You'll end up with more than Tink to care for. You'll end up with your own Chimi and Chiro too. -end of scene three- Jim Umphrey is really not such a unique young man as his steady climb to importance in this division and to almost top billing in that other division would imply. His experiences are altogether typical. He is an able man, yes; he is an amiable man, yes; he can do anything a man of his status and stature is expected to do, yes; but he is altogether typical of so many of us. Like most Marylanders, he didn't know Maryland existed until he fumbled into us while doing a cut-rate grand-tour of the old world. He taught part-time for peanuts before coming on full-time for just a little bit more than peanuts. He had that "flexibility" that causes us to almost beatify a teacher, and the record shows that he paid dearly for his flexibility. Let me just read from a letter he received in December 1959 from the Heidelberg office: Dear Jim: you don’t know what you got yourself in for by saying the word "Turkey" over the phone. You are being bartered at the moment by international cable for Izmir - English 2 and Speech 103. No travel. Tech. Sgt. there cabled me that they have an estimated eighteen bodies for Speech and fifteen for English. The last teacher there was evacuated out this term, term two, because he got a kidney condition. Its tentative, of course. If you do not go to Turkey, you are slated for Matz. I regret not to be able to get to Berlin while you are there. It would have done me a world of good to see Umphrey in residential grandeur. You will find a big change in Izmir! Now, after all that about Izmir, backed up by Metz, do you mow where Jim Umphrey taught that term: High Wycombe and Greenham Common. The qualities of this typical, flexible young man were noted every few minutes. In January 1960 the then director wrote: Mr. Umphrey’s record as a Maryland teacher is one of which he can be proud. By the time he leaves us for service in the States, ax it will be a solid asset in support of his application for any position in his field. Jim's flexibility, and vulnerability, is illustrated finally by the letter that changed his life, our lives, Penny Jackson's life, and ultimately the fortunes of the Far East Division. Let me read just a bit of it. It is dated October 1962: …we are bogged down somewhat here in an overload of work and so we are asking you to foresake teaching in the second term and come to work in and out of the office at Heidelberg....answering telephone calls, pacifying recalcitrant advisors and teachers, working on Term 3 schedule.....it will give you a new insight into the University for which you work.....we realize it will be quite a switch...we go to work in the morning and work until five....it will test new capacities for you, be an experience you might like to have on your record some time, even though it is but a short time. So sit down and take a good long time to think this over--about ten minutes--and let us know that you will be pleased to be with us. Over a year later we got an inkling of just how pleased he was when he forged Don Totten's signature over an assignment letter addressed to James Umphrey. It said: This is Just a note to tell you what you already know: your term 3 assignment (tentative, of course). Since you have been to Sidi Slimane before, I won’t bother with details. Morocco is located in the extreme northwestern part of the continent of Africa and you should have no trouble locating it. Now, all these years later, old MARAB himself moves on to become the Sage of Sukiran and Saigon, of Osan and Pusan and Inchon, of Bien Hoa and Sasebo and Kimpo, of Atsugi and Iwakuni, of Yokosuka and Misawa, of Uibonju and Taegu, but especially Fuchu. We have here an appropriate poster of prediction. This is FUKUROKUJIM - who will soon replace Fukurokujin, the present high-craniumed God of Intellect in the Orient. To Jim we say "Omedeto gozaimasu" which means congratulations on your promotion and upon the continued recognition of your flexibility. We say "arigato gozaimasu" which means thanks for everything - and we say it with this fine mid-nineteenth century print of the old Ritter - with a few scattered early Marylanders wandering around. - and we say "sayonara" - the Japanese aufwiedersehen. That's the end of almost all of the scenes, but you can just bet you do not get away without some appropriate singing. After the so-called trio finishes, Jim, It's your curtain call..