UMUC - European Division - Mason G Daly - Christmas Party 1966 - Remarks

Europe;Hoffmann, RosemaryChristmas Party 1966 -remarks This is the time for good cheer and for remarkably good looking women to look out of place in the office setting. Just look at all that color, and all those exposed knees, and for that matter well-turned thighs. The chaotic committee which so willingly brought this party into being told me a few minutes ago that tradition extends to a few words from the director. I growled an objection and was told to cut playing Scrooge all year round and see if I fitted the Santa roll just a little. At best it will be half Scrooge, half Santa, but it will be short. Let's just see what this year has been: This was the year Vida Bandis came gradually unscrewed. This was the year the division was deGaulled , deUmphreyed , deHunted , and deBlanced, but never deMoralized. This was the year deJudy tried to manage us like a city. This was the year we thought of requiring all free-loaders to take at least six semester hours in marriage and the family. This was the year the admissions office seriously set about changing sex. Conditions being what they have become in that room at the end of the third floor, we are considering a complete shift to male employees, and very old women. This was the year the cleaning team dusted twice. Next year the vacuum the rugs. The year after that they have promised Otto Schoettner they will wax the floors. This was the year Weston and Fischer climbed up on the same mean ole horse and acquired intimate bruises and fractures. The horse's name was Big Booby. I feel sure I'll be forgiven for saying that we had a pair of Big Boobies. This was the year Grace went in for skiing, believing as she does in child development. This was the year Mrs. Reed mellowed, almost alarmingly, and traveled with her usual precision from the Outer Orkneys to Hong Kong. This was the year Hank Vollmer, Pierre Corre, Rose Beyer, Dot Ferjo, Hans Dufke, Bob Speckhard, and Jim Raciti gained weight. Daly, Jivani, Mack, Gieser, and Ed Hayes stayed the same. Heuschkel and Stelter went down only temporarily. And we've quite forgotten what Bachman ever looked like. This was the year of the frogs. And next year in the Comptroller's shop now promises to have a very long pregnancy. They keep telling Walt he should have fallen out of bed one more time. This was the year the attic was transformed into faculty cell blocks, the switchboard into an out-patient ward, and the whole place into an OB-GYN clinic. This was the year the language office looked more like a print shop than the print shop did. Never in human history have so many language teachers received so many syllabi, or as Barnes said, syllabuses. This was the year Paul Caisse began ironing his lone curly hair. This was the year Carl Bock gave up his status-symbol Cadillac just in time. He's now a Mercedes man who drives a VW. And this was the year the Comptroller's office turned into beer hall, wine probe cellar, generally turned into Mack's baccanale suite. Here it is again, all decked out for the blast of the year. We are all gathered here for a time of good cheer and of very few words from the director