Learning from lesbian non-gestational parents : contributions to a changing world

This qualitative study explored narratives of lesbian non-gestational parents as they reflected on how they planned the stages of building a family, experienced their partner\u27s pregnancy, and adapted to parenthood. The study delved into issues of personal and social identity as these shifted during this important period in family life. The present inquiry contributes to our gaps in knowledge about how planned lesbian-led families take shape and specifically about the experiences of non-gestational parents as they engage in each stage from lesbian partner to lesbian parent. This study examines ways how non-gestational parents cultivate their family roles, explores considerations of donor characteristics or traits, and describes ways the donor stories are then narrated in family histories. The investigation illuminates non-gestational parent\u27s beliefs about changes in personal and social identity during her partner\u27s pregnancy, perceptions of parent / infant bonding, and strategies for negotiating a satisfying parent role. The sample was comprised of 13 lesbian non-gestational parents with children aged 14 years or younger. Results indicated that most women who take the non-gestational role feel some measure of invisibility particularly during their partner\u27s pregnancy and also, face the challenge of crafting an identity barely recognized in a heteronormative culture. The data gathered for this study shows that the more prepared non-gestational parents are for the demands of forging a new family role outside the norm and the more strategic and intentional the parents\u27 partnership in creating a family, the more satisfied these parents were within their social contexts and in their bonded and unique relationship to their children and their partners