Marriage and the norm of monogamy

It appears that spouses have less reason to hold each other to a norm of monogamy than to reject the norm. The norm of monogamy involves a restriction of spouses' access to two things of value: sex and erotic love. This restriction initially appears unwarranted but can be justified. There is reason for spouses to accept the norm of monogamy if their marriage satisfies three conditions. Otherwise, there is reason to permit non-monogamy. Some spouses have reason to accept the norm of monogamy because this will avoid reasonable hurt and prevent diversion of resources needed to sustain the marriage. Other spouses have reason to permit non-monogamy to allow the spouses access to aspects of a well-rounded life. The choice to be either monogamous or non-monogamous can also be non-instrumentally valuable if chosen for the right reasons