Child's life in extended family - role of grandmother and grandfather in child rising

Roditeljstvo je važna i zahtjevna životna uloga koja predstavlja veliki izazov. Zbog životnog tempa i brojnih obveza koje život postavlja, roditelji se često okreću svojim roditeljima kako bi im pružili pomoć pri odgoju njihove djece. Bake i djedovi u odgoju unučadi predstavljaju najprirodniju zamjenu za roditelje, a zbog životnog iskustva mogu biti izvor znanja, talenata i vještina. Njihova prisutnost i pomoć može olakšati djetetu da se razvije u potpunu osobu, pa samim time moraju biti svjesni svoje uloge modela koji njihovi unuci slijede i kopiraju. Rezultati empirijskog dijela ovog rada dovode nas do zaključka da postoje prednosti i nedostaci aktivne uključenosti baka i djedova u živote obitelji. Dvjema majkama koje su imale pomoć svojih roditelja u odgoju djeteta, emocionalna, fizička i ne manje bitna, materijalna potpora baka i djedova u odgoju djeteta uvelike je olakšala roditeljsku ulogu. Nedostatak aktivne uključenosti baka i djedova je pretjerano miješanje u odgoj djeteta, popuštanje te nepoštivanje granica koje roditelji postave djetetu. Majke koje nisu imale pomoć roditelja navode da je prednost nesudjelovanja baka i djedova u odgoju unučadi to što su djeca imala samo jedan autoritet odnosno odgajana su isključivo prema njihovim roditeljskim pravilima. Bez obzira na navedene nedostatke i koliko god se vremena mijenjaju, ne mijenja se činjenica da je roditeljima odgoj djeteta mnogo lakši uz podršku baka i djedova. Najljepši dar koji bake i djedovi mogu pružiti svojim unucima jest prvenstveno bezuvjetna ljubav i podrška.Parenting is an important and demanding role that presents a great challenge. Because of the life tempo and numerous responsibilities life assigns, parents often turn to their parents for help in raising their children. Grandparents represent the most natural replacement for parents in raising the grandchildren and because of their life experience they can be the source of knowledge, talents and skills. Their presence and help may make it easier for a child to develop into a full person, so they must be aware how much of role models they are for their grandchildren to follow and copy. The results of the empirical part of this paper lead us to the conclusion that there are advantages and disadvantages that come with active involvement of grandparents in the lives of the family. The two mothers who had the help from their parents in the upbringing of the child, emotional, physical, and not any less important, the material support of the grandparents’ in child raising, greatly facilitated their parental role. The lack of active involvement of grandparents is excessive interference in child’s upbringing, giving up and disregarding the boundaries that parents set for their child. Mothers who did not have the help of their parents stated that the advantage of not having grandparents in raising grandchildren was that the children had only one authority or were raised solely according to their parental rules. Regardless of the above-mentioned shortcomings and no matter how times can change, the fact is that parenting is much easier with the support of grandparents. The most beautiful gift that grandmothers can give to their grandchildren is, first and foremost, unconditional love and support. Key words: stage