'Insiderness' in my pilot study research

I am in the second year of an EdD and have just completed my pilot study. My research aims to illuminate and interrogate the stories mothers who are also Primary and Foundation Stage teachers tell about their experiences of this special situation of ‘teacher-motherhood’. My pilot study involved one participant, Sian (pseudonym) in one unstructured, life story interview (Goodson, 2013). The methodological approach for this pilot and the main study is a postmodern feminist narrative approach. The pilot study findings suggest that Sian’s story of teacher motherhood describes her as being ultimately responsibility for all of the children she cares for, including her own child, at all times. A major feature of my thinking (and worrying) about the pilot study has been the idea of insider research; what this means and what implications there are for the validity of data if insider research is carried out (Drake, 2010). In this article, I will be considering the insiderness of the research relationship between Sian and I. It has been a recurring theme in my research journal and has touched every aspect of the pilot study project. The issues I faced as an insider researcher are also explored and the definition and need to demarcate research relationships are questioned. It is not my intention to cover the pilot study in detail, but some context will be given for clarity