Auto/ethnography : a journey of self/indulgence

Abstract: Research aspires to be objective and purposeful, and keen to improve my own teaching, I began a phenomenographic exploration of lecturers’ experiences teaching in multi-cultural classrooms. Disparities between the participants’ perspectives and my expectations, however, found me caught between my purposefulness and my passion for the topic. Seeking a way forward I was drawn to explore my own assumptions about research and my role as the researcher. The emerging insights create a compelling, and at times shocking, account of my pervasive influence on this purportedly, objective research project. Searching for theoretical reflections of my experiences I discovered auto/ethnography. My initial delight turned into distaste at the degree of self disclosure I encountered in the writings. I rejected auto/ethnography as self indulgent and un-academic, yet as I wrote, I could not stem the flow of revelations about the centrality of my values and beliefs in this research project. This paper offers some thoughts on my research journey and concludes by reframing the pejorative ‘self-indulgent’ to assert that to give oneself up to contemplation of the diverse influences of the researcher’s self on her research is enlightening and essential for ethical research….indeed self/indulgent. Key words: research; auto/ethnography; reflexivity; higher educatio