Between Acceptance and Refusal: The Internal Discriminations of Yan Ji-Dao and His Ci Poems

「依違」是矛盾，是生命困惑、躊躇的姿態，它飽含著內在心理對不同價值的複雜去取。學者無不對晏幾道《小山詞》如數家珍；但回到詞學的傳統脈絡，抑或專家詞的研究視域下，晏幾道的重要性便相形見絀。故當前對晏幾道其人與其詞的理解也處於這種「矛盾」的狀態。於是本文以詞人的「依違之間」為題，並逐步探索矛盾背後的原因——詞人晏幾道的內在辯證。從詞史脈絡、詞人觀念、與父親晏殊並列的意義、《小山詞》的內在特質逐一檢視。 文學的研究方法向來「難言」，本文反思「詞學的研究」，將晏幾道與《小山詞》視為相同重要的「文本」。在詮釋、梳理的過程中賦予文學的意涵，更能理解身為一個複雜之「人」，而非單純「創作者」的晏幾道，和他的二六ま首詞作。 「詞人」本「背負」著不同於「詩人」身分的意涵，此處嘗試將晏幾道置於以創作者為主體的詞史思考中，除了補充「詞人地位史」視野的詮釋，也有為其翻案的用意。小晏是如何面對傳統詞學的演進？他和詩化與詞化進路的作者們有何關聯？此是第一部分的「依違」討論，也就是晏幾道和外在環境、詞學傳統的互動方式。 歷來詮釋者津津樂道小晏相府暮子的身分，晏殊與晏幾道的並列似乎「本應為之」，但其實父子在人格、文學、價值觀上截然不同，「二晏詞」的底層意涵仍有待抽繹。甚至晏幾道對父親的形象抱持著既抗拒也接受的兩難。故此處更形深入，探討晏幾道與父親晏殊的辯證關係。 最後，回憶與深情可謂是《小山詞》的主要特徵，也是一切矛盾、依違的根源。若對這兩項特質有深入的理解，則更能體悟晏幾道特殊的生命樣態。於是見其人如讀其詞；其詞中也蘊含著小晏的精神，兩者互相透顯本文的主題——晏幾道的內在辯證。 研究發現，小晏由於性格的歧出，他在當世的存在即是一種「尷尬」。在與士人群體、詞學傳統的互動上都保持著若即若離、不即不離的「依違態度」。他飽受詞人身分所苦，但也樂在其中；與父親晏殊在人格、文學上皆同中有異：同樣具備著高尚的美感品味，卻不樂仕進，甚至遠離士大夫的核心價值，將士人的「自尊、自重」轉入詞體。父子詞作的風格也呈顯著濃淡、深淺、輕重的兩極，裡頭蘊藏著對父親的複雜態度；「回憶」與「深情」是晏幾道的根本特質，「美」的體證是對現世生活的詛咒，也同時是餘生所依恃的樂園記憶。The yi-wei (acceptance and refusal) in this article means a complicated mental decision on different values that shows confusion and hesitance in life. In spite that there are a variety of studies on Yan Ji-Dao’s Xiao-Shan’s Ci Poems, Yan is much less important in the traditional context of ci poetry studies and the field of ci specialist studies. This causes our current understanding of Yan to have conflicting opinions. This article focuses on Yan’s yi-wei and investigates in detail the reasons behind his internal discriminations. Scrutinized are the context of ci poetry history, Yan’s concepts of ci poetry, the meaning of the juxtaposition of Yan and his father Yan Shu, and the characteristics of Xiao-Shan’s Ci Poems. It has long been difficult to set a method to study Chinese literature; this article reflects on studies on ci poetry studies when regarding Yan as a text equally important as Xiao-Shan’s Ci Poems. This is to understand Yan as a manifold person rather than merely a writer, to comprehend his 260 ci poems, and to endow them with literary meanings in the process of interpreting it and combing it out. Now that ci poets carry different meanings from poets, the article positions Yan in the thinking of ci history that attaches most importance to the writer. This supplies the interpretation in the field of ci poet history and reverses the previous judgments about how Yan faces the evolution of traditional ci studies and connects with writers of ci poems and poem-like ci poems. This is the first part of the discussion on yi-wei, which in short is the way Yan interacts with his outer environment and the ci study tradition. The interpreters of Yan’s ci poems like to study Yan’s identity as a grand councilor’s late son. It seems natural to juxtapose Yan and his father, but the two are completely different in their personalities, literary styles, and values, when Yan has actually been in a dilemma whether to refuse or accept his father’s image. To explore the deep meanings of the two Yans’ ci poems, the article probes into the contradictions between them. Lastly, memory and deep love are the main features of Xiao-Shan’s Ci Poems and the origin of all the yi-wei contradictions. An investigation of the two features helps readers to understand Yan’s special life. Reading descriptions of Yan is like reading his poems that contain his spirits. The descriptions of him and his ci poems reveal the topic of this article—Yan’s internal discriminations. The result of this study shows that Yan is an awkward being in his time because of his special personality. When interacting with scholar groups and ci study traditions, he has been keeping a yi-wei attitude, neither friendly nor aloof. He suffers from the identity as ci poet but also enjoys it. He has a personality and a literature style similar to his father’s and the same high taste of beauty with him but he doesn’t crave for the same official career. He even deviates from the core values of Chinese scholars and officials, e.g. self-respect, and cares more about the ci form, which has widely been regarded as trivial in his time. His style is dense, deep, and heavy while his father’s simple and light. His ci poems contain his complicated attitudes toward his father, carry his basic features of memory and deep love, and make his realization of beauty a paradise memory that he depends on like a curse with him in his late life