Psychoanalytic models of understanding the transformation of love into hate

Svrha ovoga rada je prikazati psihodinamski proces ljubavi i mržnje kako bi bolje razumjeli njihovu koegzistenciju unutar jednog odnosa te mogućnost preobrazbe jednoga osjećaja u drugi. Kroz radove Freuda, M. Klein, Kernberga i mnogih drugih, istraženo je podrijetlo ljubavi i mržnje od infantilne dobi i njihovo mijenjanje kroz životni ciklus. Smatra se da zrele ljubavne veze reflektiraju ranije osjećaje, doživljene prvo kroz vezu između djeteta i majke te kasnije s Edipovskim roditeljem. Stoga, uspješno ostvarenje zrele veze ovisi o uspješnom razrješenju prijašnjih konflikata. U slučaju nekog neriješenog problema, njegov ili njen kapacitet za zaljubljivanje biti će ograničen. Mržnja nije nuţno negativna. Njena razvojna neizbježnost govori u prilog činjenici da ona sluţi za adaptaciju te organizaciju ličnosti. Raspravlja se i o narcizmu koji u slučaju da nije pretjeran (zdravi narcizam), pridonosi boljem osjećanju u vezi sebe i čuvanju pojedinčevog identiteta. Ipak, pretjeran narcizam se može smatrati i kao previše ljubavi spram samoga sebe te kao poremećaj pretjerane i loše usmjerene mržnje, koji onemogućuje stvaranje dublje i značajnije ljubavne veze s drugima. Iz razloga što su i ljubav i mržnja razvojne prekretnice i tako strastveni osjećaji usmjereni k istoj osobi, lako je razumjeti kako se velika ljubav može pretvoriti u veliku mržnju, radije nego u ravnodušnost. Na posljetku, istražili smo i kako funkcionira osveta te važnost oprosta koji omogućuje dominaciju ljubavi nad mržnjom u svim ovim ambivalentnim odnosima.The purpose of this paper is to better understand the psychodinamic process of love and hate, their coexistence within one relationship and transformation of one affect into another. Through the work of Freud, M. Klein, Kernberg and many others, the origins of love and hate from infancy have been explored, as well as the way how they develop through the life cycle. Mature love relationships are considered to reflect earlier feelings, those experienced first in the relationship of the child with its mother and, later, with the Oedipal parent. Therefore, successful achievement of a mature relationship depends on the person having been able to negotiate prior conflicts successfully. In the case of an unresolved problem, his or her capacity to fall in love will be limited. Hate is not necessarily negative. Its developmental necessity suggests that hate may also subserve adaptation and personality organizations. This is also argued of narcissism, which, if not excessive (healthy narcissism) contributes to a better sense of self and the preservation of one's own identity. However, excessive narcissism can be considered both as too much of self love as well as an incordinated and excessive hate disorder, that unables forming a deep and meaningful love relationships with others. Due to the fact that both love and hate are developmental milestones, and such passionate feelings directed toward one person, it is easy to understand that great love can turn into great hate rather than indifference. Finally, we have also explored how the revange operates and the importance of forgiveness, which allows love to dominate hate in these ambivalent love relationships