Communication Breakdown: Differing Relationship Wellbeing Effects of Positive and Negative Spin in Communication Behaviour

Romantic couples must regularly navigate interactions to maintain satisfying relationships, but it is unclear how people’s variability in communication behaviour is linked to relationship wellbeing. Varying communication behaviours may display responsiveness to a partner’s needs by adjusting behaviour appropriately. Or else, inconsistent behaviour may undermine partner trust by fuelling uncertainties about commitment. Across two studies, we investigated how a person’s variability of communication behaviour was associated with their own wellbeing and their partner’s wellbeing. Specifically, we assessed spin, a measure of how often a person switches between communication behaviours. We predicted that switching between positive behaviours would be linked with higher relationship wellbeing but, conversely, switching between negative communication behaviours would be linked with lower wellbeing. We assessed spin in positive and negative forms of relationship behaviour over three weeks (Study 1; 78 couples) and over a single interaction (Study 2; 112 couples). Effects for spin in positivity emerged only in Study 1. For women, switching daily positive behaviour over three weeks was associated with higher partner relationship wellbeing but unexpectedly lower wellbeing for women (controlling for mean-level positivity). This suggests that, for women, being responsive to partners in diverse ways is beneficial for the partner but comes at a personal cost. Effects for spin in negativity emerged in both studies. Switching negative behaviour was linked with lower partner wellbeing in both studies, indicating that use of different negative behaviours is more dysfunctional than the sum of individual relationship behaviours. Across both studies, additional tests illustrated that these effects were independent and not due to variability in the magnitude of behaviours. Our findings show variable behaviour may benefit partner wellbeing when behaviour is positive, but inconsistent negativity interrupts intimacy processes to undermine wellbeing. Our research highlights the importance of considering behavioural variability when studying relationship maintenance processes over time