The experience of being a hidden child survivor of the holocaust

Deposited with permission of the author. © 2002 Dr. Vicki GordonChild survivors of the Holocaust have only recently been recognized as a distinguishable group of individuals who survived the war with a different experience to the older survivors. This thesis focuses on a specific group of child survivors, those who survived by going into hiding. In hiding, some remained "visible" by hiding within convents, orphanages or with Christian families. Others were physically hidden and had to disappear from sight. Most children often combined these two experiences in their hiding. The intent of this study was to explore the experience of these hidden children using Giorgi’s empirical phenomenological methodology and to gain a richer understanding of the nature of this experience. Phenomenological analyses of the recorded and transcribed interviews of 11 child survivors were conducted and organized into meaning units which subsequently yielded situated structures from which the general structures evolved. These analyses revealed that the defining moment of being hidden for these children was the suppression of their identities as Jews. By being hidden, they had to deny the essence of their core selves, including their names, family details and connections to others in an effort to conceal their Jewishness. Other structures to emerge as part of hiding were the pervading fear which enveloped their entire experience in hiding and the sense of suspended normality during this period, which sometimes extended over a period of years. A "cut-offness" and personality constriction seemed to be present throughout the descriptions of these children and appears to have developed as a method of coping with the trauma of their childhood. Overlaying all of this were general insecurities about the capriciousness of the war and the contextual specifics of their actual hiding places to which each child had to adjust. Connections/relationships to another person seemed to be highly significant in the dynamics of the everyday during the experience of hiding and often shaped some of the psychological and emotional experiences of hiddenness