Feeling loved and integrated of lonely and rejected in everyday life: The role of age and social motivation

Social approach and social avoidance goals (i.e., approach of positive and avoidance of negative outcomes in social situations) are important predictors of the feeling of being socially integrated or isolated. However, little is known about the development of these goals across adulthood. In a large diary study with N = 744 young (18–39 years), middle-aged (40–59 years), and older adults (60-83 years), we tested the hypothesis that the adaptiveness of social goals changes across adulthood: Social approach goals were hypothesized to be adaptive during young adulthood when adult social relationships are to be established. In contrast, social avoidance goals were hypothesized to become more adaptive with age as people are increasingly motivated to avoid interpersonal tension. Our findings support these hypotheses: Social approach goals were positively and social avoidance goals negatively associated with younger but not with middle-aged and older adults’ daily social well-being. These results were robust across different situations (positive, negative) and different types of relationships (close, peripheral). The study highlights the changing role of social approach and avoidance goals for daily social well-being across adulthood