Choice of law is a mess. That much has become a truism. It is a dismal swamp, a morass of confusion, a body of doctrine killed by a realism intended to save it, and now universally said to be a disaster. One way to demonstrate its tribulations would be to look at the academic dissensus and the hopelessly underdeterminative Restatement (Second) of Conflict of Laws. Another would be to examine the Supreme Court\u27s abdication of the task of articulating constitutional constraints on state choice-of-law rules. This article will do both. At the outset, though, I want to suggest that one need look no further than the nomenclature of the subject. I do not mean the arcane terminology - depecage, renvoi, retorsion, false conflicts, comparati...