Motivational pursuits in the context of human sexual relationships

ABSTRACT The current article examines how close relationships combine with individual differences in sex motives (Cooper, Shapiro, & Powers, 1998) to shape sexual experience. We first provide an overview of the motivational approach as it relates to sexual behavior and then describe 2 broad mechanisms (1 transactional, the other interactional) by which motives and relational context combine to shape behavior. Drawing on our past research, we review evidence showing that people select relationship contexts based partly on their motives and that these contexts in turn shape future motives and behavior; that partner motives shape sexual experience above and beyond one’s own motives; and that both the broader relationship context and partner motives moderate the effects of one’s own motives on sexual experience. We conclude that the nature of motivational pursuits cannot be adequately understood in the abstract, but rather we must take into account the relational context in which one’s needs are pursued. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others ’ actions. We survive here in dependence on others.... And most of our happiness arises in the context of our relation-ships with others.—The Dalai Lama (2001, p. 63) Some of the research described in this article was supported by a grant from th