Forthcoming in Philosophical Psychology 1 How to Rationally Approach Life’s Transformative Experiences

Therefore, remove altogether your aversion for anything that is not in our power, and transfer it those things…that are in our power.-- Epictetus, Enchiridion Chapter 2, [2] In a widely discussed forthcoming article, “What you can’t expect when you’re expecting”, as well as in a forthcoming book, L.A. Paul challenges culturally and philosophically traditional views about how to rationally make major life-decisions, most specifically the decision of whether to have children.1 According to Paul, the culturally and philosophically dominant view of decision-making focuses on outcomes: one rationally ought to make whichever choice has the best expected results. If having a child is likely to make one happy and satisfied, one should have a child; if not, then not. But, Paul argues, this is all a mistake. Some major life-decisions— particularly, the experience having a child of one’s own—are transformative. They transform a person so deeply, psychologically speaking, that one cannot know in advance what the likely outcomes of different decisions will be. One cannot know, prior to having a child, whether one is more likely to be happy or miserable. Having a child is, essentially, a step into the unknown. The present paper argues that if the problem Paul presents has no direct solution—if there is no way to defend the philosophically and culturally dominant approach to rational decision-making for major, potentially transformative life-decisions—there is still an indirect solution: a different way to rationally approach life’s transformative experiences. I focus, in particular, on the well-studied psychological phenomenon of resilience. I argue that if Paul is * I thank two anonymous reviewers and L.A. Paul for insightful comments on an earlier draft. 1 See Paul (forthcoming a, b). Paul’s argument has already begun to receive discussion in the philosophical and psychological literature. See e.g. Brase (2014) and a forthcoming special issue on transformative experience i