Narrative Ideas for Working with Men in Couples Therapy1

This paper uses a narrative perspective to propose that therapists working with heterosexual couples think about masculinity as the “performance ” of culturally specified ways of being male. This view is described as a reflection of the ideas that have come to be associated with narrative therapy (e.g., social constructionist thinking, the narrative metaphor, and an emphasis of the operation of meaning and power). Examples are discussed that demonstrate how this view can enable therapists can respectfully explore and challenge the problematic effects and uses of power that the performance of masculinity sometimes “encourages. ” A narrative approach to couples therapy is outlined and the place that this thinking occupies within it described. Finally, examples of work with couples based on these ideas are provided. Narrative Ideas for Working with Men in Couples Therapy In the twenty-five years that John3 and Judy had been married, John’s experience was that he had done everything he “should do ” to be a good husband. Shouldering the responsibility as the family’s wage-earner, he had made decisions unilaterally about the family’s finances. This included things like what major purchases would and would not be made and whether or no